I Heart Peanut Butter

Since the AMC requires a list of the last years worth of hikes when ever I sign up for a hike I decided yesterday to put together a list of what I have done this year. LAME for the most part, not too many impressive hikes by anymeans. But maybe this next year. I think my biggest obstical was the thought of paying $50 plus dollars in gas to drive up for a hike, I think some hikes I was suppose to do I didn’t because of this, hence why I need to move up north, as you can see I am at Wachusett and Monadnock the most only because of proximity.

I want to be able to hike more in 2012, and maybe get more of the 4000er’s complete, why not right…

Winter Hiking Experience:

December 2010, Mt Wachusett Worcester Chapter with Stephanie via West Side to Old Indian

December 2010, Douglas State Forest

January 2011, Mt Cardigan, Worcester Chapter with Paul Glazebrook via “West Ridge” Not sure which trail it was.

January 2011, Tully Lake/Long Pond Trail Worcester AMC and Meetup Hike.

February 2011, Mt Monadnock, Hiking Meetup Group via White Dot/White Cross Trails

February 2011, Mt Wachusett, SOLO West Side to Old Indian

February 2011, Cannon Mt, Hiking Meetup Group

March 2011, Mt Moosilauke, Boston Chapter with Kevin Fredette/Stephen via Glencliff Trail

11/9/11 Advance Winter Hiking Series Class

2011 Hiking Experience:

4/3/11 Mt Monadnock, SOLO via White Cross Trail

4/30/11 Mt Wachusett, SOLO via West Side to Old Indian and down Harrington

5/15/11 Smarts Mountain Loop hike with Boston AMC

5/6/11 Mt Wachusett, SOLO Via West Side to Old Indian and down Harrington

5/15/11 Mt Monadnock, SOLO via Marlborough Trail

5/29/11 Mt Greylock via Cheshire Harbor Trail

6/6/11 Mt Wachusett SOLO, via West Side to Old Indian and down Harrington

6/11/11 Mt Chocorua, w/friends via Piper Trail

6/21/11 Summer Solstice Hike Wachusett, Worcester Chapter AMC

6/25/11 Mt Osceola with Meetup Group

7/9/11 Mt Monadnock, SOLO Via Marlborough Trail.

7/20/11 Mt Katahdin, SOLO via Chimney Pond to Saddle Trail, 11 miles 9 ½ hours

9/25/11 Mt Monadnock w/Friends via Marlborough Trail

10/22/11 MidState and Wachusett Hike w/ Meetup Group

11/5/11 Gap Mountain Hike, w/ 4 Seasons Meetup Group

11/11/11 Mt Wachusett SOLO, via West Side to Old Indian

11/19/11 Mt Monadnock Solo, via Marlborough Trail

11/20/11 Mt Tom – Holyoke Ma w/Friends

11/26/11 Mt Watatic w/friends via Wapack Trail

Planned Hikes:

December 10th 2011 Mt Cabot  Worcester Chapter w/ Neil Schutzman

January 15th 2012 Mt Cardigan with Paul Glazebrook

(Oops Double Booked)

January 15th 2012 Mt Crawford w/ Boston Chapter /Kevin Fredette

Been a bit of a hard week already and it is only Tuesday, so glad I am not working Thursday and (now) Friday, I need a 4 day weekend. Some things have happened at work and within personal relationships I feel like I am trying to stay above water, at least mentally.

I was reading Thought Catalog this morning and of course I start thinking, that is what I always do, and I will admit 5 weeks ago today was the last time I saw Mike, and as much as I know it was all for the best, I do miss talking to him. How the hell did 5 weeks go by so quickly but yet I can’t stop wishing I could call, see, text or email something random to him a couple times a day. I guess I miss him in my life, but I am nowhere near ready for him to be a buddy.

I am finally where I need to be, I am back being busy with friends, the gym, hiking, knitting, work, and soon I need to get into the mind set of studying for my exam. I am sure I will fuck it up somehow…

Lessons learned this weekend…Most importantly don’t say yes to going to listen to music, drink beer and stay awake until 2:30am when you plan on hiking the next day. I am not and I repeat am not 22 years old anymore, I never seem to drink enough water so even 2-3 beers tends to make me beyond dehydrated the next day.

Anyways it was a pretty rockin weekend to say the least. Thursday I had a date, 3 hours of drudging hell and I have not learned how to properly tell someone I don’t plan on seeing them again. Not sure how two people can have completely different ideas on how a date went. But he started with a question “So have you ever met any famous people”. Did he read this in some “Icebreaker Questions for 1^st Dates”, so finally was able to gracefully exit and after that I couldn’t just go home so ended up making it a tad late evening by meeting up with Jason and friends at the Dive. I had a couple beers and headed home after venting about my 3 hour of hell date. I feel bad because honestly he seemed like a nice guy but awkward as hell and he “ didn’t get me”. I am done wasting my time with guys who either lack shared interest or don’t really have any motivation to live life.

Friday after work I was suppose to head to RI, but timing, lack of sleep and Friday traffic made this a bad idea. So instead I met Kelly and Matt for dinner at the Sole. I then went home to relax. Saturday morning I woke up ready to hike, Scott H. was planning on hiking with me but he just got another exhibit he needs to work on some paintings for. So solo Saturday hike it was. I headed up to Monadnock to the Marlborough Trail as I believe there are not many weekends where the trailhead will still be accessible.  It was damn windy on the mountain that day; it was in the 40’s at the base of the mountain and most likely with wind chill somewhere in the low to mid 20’s. It was a good day on the mountain; solo hikes get me thinking and stuck in my own head but always leave me with a clear mind where I can figure things out. The best type of therapy that exists can be found for free in the woods.

I passed this couple most likely in their late 60’s hiking down the trail while I was heading up and thought will I have that? I want to meet the person who is going to do that with me where is my hiking partner for life? Then I passed two very attractive couples hiking together and thought “wow if only I was thinner, in better shape, more attractive, maybe I would meet the guy who will hike with me forever”. I suppose I may have been down on myself for part of the hike thinking how my body has let me down; it is more or less a complete asshole to me. Having degenerative joint disease, aka osteoarthritis, I will never be BETTER but it will just progress until I am most likely not able to hike anymore. I thought how every time I get onto a great pattern of fitness and hiking something happens that then starts me back at zero. I hurt myself, I get my yearly bronchitis, something happens. Once again my body fails me. I have found again my passion in life but what I want to do and what I can do seem to be two different things. I will keep working on me as much as possible but most likely I will always be the curvy gal who likes to be at the top of mountains and over time it may take me longer to get there but I will get there. I just want more…

After my hike I headed home and cleaned and relaxed for a bit until it was time to get ready to head to Jess’s “Nightmare Before Christmas” party. Jason came over for a pre-celebration drink and then we headed to Jess’s together as I was peer pressured into heading to Ralph’s afterward. This is where the most important lesson of the weekend comes into play. So a little bit of scotch, whiskey from India and grub at Jess’s along with some chatter and seeing some folks I haven’t seen much as of late. Then Jason and I headed to Ralphs to see Thinner and Huck play, drink some beers and mingle. All of a damn sudden it was 2am, how does this happen I do not know.

Fast forward 6 hours later I am awake, barely; getting ready for hiking with Jason. He ends up running later than planned (surprise surprise) we grabbed food at Culpeppers and I needed a coffee so bad at this point and head west to Mt. Tom State Park, I hadn’t hiked there before and all cocky I was like “The summit is only 1,200 feet” well the thing I didn’t realize is you start pretty close to sea level being the Connecticut River Valley. So the elevation progress in the beginning is impressive for a “small mountain”. It was about 4 ½ mile hike with lots of very cool ledges and lookout points. Jason thought he was funny so he decided since the weather was amazing yesterday that he was going to hike shirtless for a portion of our hike. Somehow the conversation started turning into a new sport called “Topless Butt Hiking”. I was overtired, dehydrated and getting hungry so when Crystal becomes delusional I find things much more funny then they really are.

To satisfy both my hunger and the Views and Brews Badge requirement we headed to Northampton Brewery for a late lunch/early dinner.  The Mean Green IPA (This double India Pale Ale is a hop hammer. Loads of hops and a solid malt backbone, this balanced ale is the dry-hopped until delicious) was pretty tasty. I think both of us were exhausted just because of busy weekends so the ride home was quiet and chill for the most part. Once I was home I showered a very hot shower to help sooth my tired muscles after just over 10 miles of hikes the last two days.  I was then done for the night, watched a movie, played on the interwebs for a bit and was in bed by 8:30.

Monday morning it is right now, my body is achy so no work out for me today plus it is knitting night so not much time after work on Mondays. Tomorrow the dentist after work, Wednesday is Jerkus Circus with some burlesque gals which Jason wanted to check out at Ralph’s. Thursday is Thanksgiving so down to the rents for dinner then maybe by Kelly’s for desert and The Dive for drinks. Friday I am working, wish I had more time off to use right now but need to bank some for heading to South Carolina to see Tasha in January. Saturday will be a Views and Brews hike with the 4-Season Hikers Meetup group, followed by me going to Connecticut to see Kelly and her family. Busy week but lots of time with great people to look forward to so no complaints.

Here I am on Thursday, so ready for this week to be over…

• Monday I received a letter in the mail that the foreclosure auction is initially set for December 12th for the loft, I was told it will most likely be moved out a couple times but if not I believe any new owner would need to give me 90 days to move. The whole thing is kinda of sad, I almost can’t imagine the loft not occupied by myself or Neil. Here is the post I wrote about the first night in the loft. We owned it brand spanking new, it has been 4 1/2 years of a lot of craziness, an end of an era it will be. God I am too fucking sentimental for my own good.
• Tuesday I finally caught up with Paul, he was in San Fran for a few weeks and we both have been busy. It was good to see him grabbed dinner and drinks at Peppercorns and chatted about all the new shit that has occurred.
• Yesterday was a hell day of meetings at work all day…Last night I went to the Apple Store and for the 2nd time in the last week they exceeded my expectations. I brought the paperwork from last week on my 6 year old 5th Gen Video Ipod and the old Ipod. The gal comes out and states ” Well sometime between last week and this week your Ipod was retired and we are not able to ever work on it again so here is your new Ipod have a nice day” as she hands me the Ipod Classic 160g replacement, free of charge. Wow that rocked my day especially since I was expecting to pay for my replacement. This allowed me to run to Lush for some shampoo and Sephora for the nail polish I was have lusting after. Once I got home my friend Shane stopped by for a bit, was nice to have some company.

So far so good of a week I suppose, some change is coming to Crystal’s life soon but as always I embrace change and roll with it. Tonight maybe hit up the Dive and tomorrow night I am meeting a guy out for drinks, followed by some hiking this weekend and Jess’s party. Should all be a good time.

Having Friday off allowed me to go out on Thursday; I met up with Jason and a friend of his who is staying with him for a couple weeks at the Dive. Listened to some music, drank some beer and chatted with folks. He unfortunately had to work on Friday so he left around 1am, so I headed to the Dog with Brad for an hour to dance to Flock. Well there was my 2am night out, and I had planned on hiking on Friday, bad news.

I awoke on Friday a tad bit hungover, oops! But I was not about to let this stop me I got up and guzzled down some Gatorade and a couple bottles of water, jumped in the shower and decided I was not about to waste a perfectly good day. I headed up to the West Side Trail, it was a perfect Fall day but very much cool, windy and I didn’t take off my windbreaker the whole hike and also thru my hat on for a bit near the top. I only did about 5 miles but for being hungover and sleep deprived I was doing pretty well. I should know that 3-4 beers out at the Dive will do this to me; high abv is no longer my friend at almost 32 years old.  After my hike I headed home and took a nap, I had an evening out with 6 other ladies planned for my Friday night and I wasn’t about to be “NO-FUN CRYSTAL”. Kelly was only able to get an early reservation for us, but 6pm ended up working just fine for our 3 ½ hour dinner at Bocado, just kept ordering Tapas and pitchers of Sangria. After dinner Kelly, Christine and I went to Nick’s for another cocktail, I was feeling good that night. I bought a new purple dress last week on clearance for 20 bucks, wearing my heeled booties and my purple coat, my outfit worked well.  Made it until about 11pm on Friday which was a surprise even to myself, made a quick stop at the Dive before heading home.

Saturday morning I woke up and started cleaning the loft, moved furniture around, cleaned, did laundry and dishes, as I was having a dozen people over that night for Game Night. I ran some errands but for the most part was home cleaning and getting ready all day. Rich and Sara showed up around 6:30, then Jason, Brad, Julie, Kelly, Matt, and Christine. Liz did a quick stop over but had 10 other places she needed to be, as always. We had plenty of food, drink and laughs, most left by midnight then I sat with Rich and discussed politics until Jason came back, then the 3 of us chatted. Jason ended up leaving around 3:30, another late night with busy day following.

Yesterday morning I had to head to Connecticut to go Bridesmaid Dress Shopping with Sam, Megan, Jen and Terry. The first dress we tried on worked for the 3 of us bridesmaids and Megan is wearing a longer version for the Maid of Honor dress. The dress we will be wearing is THIS ONE in Key Lime. Megan’s dress will be in Guava. She wanted short dresses for us, so I have until January to get myself in tad better shape for the fitting and ordering of the dresses. We went to Chili’s to grab lunch and then headed back to Putnam. I visited with the folks for a bit then I headed home to Worcester to just chill for the evening, Sara stopped by quickly cause she forgot her bag at my house but other than that I was in bed by 8:30 last night.

Tonight Knitting is off, I know Liz is trying to talk me into seeing Dessa at the Middle East tonight, but I don’t think I can do a Monday night show, as four hours of sleep on a Monday night doesn’t make for a good week. So most likely hit the gym then just relax tonight as this weekend kicked my ass. I have plans with Paul tomorrow night; I haven’t seen him in forever. Goal is to get to the gym or hike everyday this week, I have until the middle/end of January to drop 15 lbs…

This years wish list is made of things I need and things I would love to upgrade, last night I sat in the Advance Winter Hiking Series class with the AMC and I am going to get above treeline a few times this winter if nothing more.

1. Koflach Arctics Plastic Mountaineering Boots

2. Black Diamond Raven Mountaineering Ice Axe

3. Grivel G12 Crampons

4. Osprey Xenon Pack, I need to upgrade my BIG multi-day or Winter Day hiking pack, and Osprey has done me well with the 48 liter this year.

5. Patagonia Nano Puff Jacket or Columbia Le Lustre Jacket

6. MSR Lightning Ascents

7. Patagonia Powder Bowl Shell Pants or cheaper Burton Lucky Shell Pants

That covers the expensive STUFF for the most part all the other things such as new glove liners, new balaclava etc is easy, now I just need a couple thousand dollars

Busy Busy Busy…

So tonight I am heading to Northboro for the AMC’s Advance Winter Hiking Series Class, always can learn more and would like to try some harder hikes this winter, but working out needs to be my priority, after Katahdin I just stopped making it such. Then maybe grab a drink with the “bff” Jason as he seems to need to get out of the house…

Tomorrow is my Friday, YAY…

Friday morning doing a hike with one of the AMC leaders, only to Mt. Tom but still I think we may cover some miles.

Friday night I am headed to dinner, drinks and good times with the ladies, I think we are doing dinner at Bocado then who knows. Figured we would all get dressed up and hit the town, seems like fun to me.

Saturday I am cleaning, cleaning and getting ready for Game Night at my house, board games for us geeks. But may hit up WooDaddy Waffles since they now have Saturday hours from 10-2. Then I am sure a late night with friends playing games, drinking Cabin Fever etc…Can’t wait I love hosting friend nights.

Sunday off to Connecticut for Bridesmaid Dress Shopping with Sam, Jen, and Megan. Not feeling 100% about my body at this moment is not going to help me feel good about a dress, but I have until at least April to fix that.

Sleep as of late has been a luxury that I have not been able to obtain. With age in me appears to be a softer soul, more engraved heart and longer recovery. Way too much on my mind, tossing and turning has become a regular occurance, this morning I said “fuck it” and woke at 4:30, got ready and headed to work, sick of just laying there.

I remember when I was 24 and I told Joel that I could get over anyone in 7 days, done and forgotten. Back then I believe it was true because my heart was never fully open and honestly I always let relationships run their course, I was worn, beaten and exhausted by the time the end came. So the only way to move on was quick.

Not so easy this time for me, a million things I still want to tell him, a million more kisses I still would love to share, but I can’t. Because for the first time in my life I needed to stick with my needs and not compromise them away. Been 3 weeks since the last text was exchanged and 3 weeks and 1 day since I saw his face, even though we were not together even at that point, we still spoke. I think some of my friends get it, and the others just want me to move on and stop bring it up, as much as it became unsafe for me to love him in the end it became unsafe for me to talk about it anymore with my friends. So I play the part, the part that includes me not caring, moving on and no longer feel hurt about the situation.

I have went on a few dates but maybe I am not ready, the old Crystal would have just moved on, forgot all about the soul who didn’t really deserve to have my heart, but I find myself comparing. I compare and judge them on how they can make me laugh most importantly and they have fallen short. They were perfectly good guys, good stable guys where conversation came easy but just not feeling it.

So I need to refocus on me for awhile. My workout regimen I am working on getting back into place, before I met Mike I was at the gym 4 days a week and hiking a couple times a week. Working on getting that back, that I suppose is the only major downfall to being with someone who fitness is not a priority for. Also need to really think about signing up for my RHIT exam and figure out the school situation, not sure I want to continue with UC, may go back to Fisher College. Fitness, Diet and School NEED to be my biggest priorities right now…I need to not be involved with boys right now, they are no good for the well being of this girls mind.

Monday again, why does it always seem to be Monday…

Well I am okay with work this week as it is a 4-day work week with Veterans Day on Friday of this week. Still not sure if that will allow me a night out without having to worry about work the next day or if I will go to bed early and hike on Friday.

Well this past weekend was busy but a good busy. Friday night I called it an early night as I had a hike planned for the morning and after a late night on Thursday I was not much in the mood to do anything.

Saturday I woke up, cooked breakfast and headed up to New Hampshire to Gap Mountain with the 4-Season Hikers Meetup group, there was a LARGE group, for the View and Brew event, hike then hit up Elm City Brewery in Keene. The hike was suppose to be about 3-4 miles and ended up around 6 due to us getting lost. No one had hiked this trail before and the markers are in bad need of being refreshed. We grabbed beers and food at Elm City and I headed home around 2:30, getting home at 4.

During the ride home I text with a few people then Jen A. asked what I was up to because she was having people over for cocktails, so I took a quick nap and then headed to her house for 8pm, I drove a lot on Saturday, about 160 miles round-trip in NH then another 40 to Brookline. So I knew some excessive wine drinking may occur so I planned on crashing in Brookline Saturday evening. So it ended up being a low-key night just Jen, Philip, Costa and a friend of his. I feel asleep around 2ish and was up and headed back to Worcester around 8.

Coming back into Worcester Jason text me so I met him for breakfast at Corner Lunch, then I headed home as I had another busy planned day. Changing the clocks throws me off every Fall, I always need the same sleep. I met up with Mandy at noon to check out an apartment a friend of her sisters is renting out. It was cute 2-bedroom plus office, all remodeled and more than enough space, but a few issues it is located on Boyd Street and for a few reasons this does not work for me, Indian Lake is one neighborhood I will not be moving to and I am not sure Heather’s husband liked the idea of 2 cats and 1 (small) dog. She and I will keep looking, I am trying to get her to hold onto Spring, but I may move sooner as she is the one person I can share a place with when the time comes.

After we parted ways I made a quick stop for a coffee at Starbucks and then to Connecticut to see Kelly, now Kelly and I have known each other since we were 2, she is my oldest of friends but of course our lives went in different directions but we never were not friendly with each other. Well she is going through a divorce after being with him for 10 years but she has a pretty amazing support system in place and she is a smart, strong woman with two beautiful boys. So I spent time with her and the boys until dinner time.

Last night I was in bed by 8pm, exhausted and I feel good this morning, was nice to walk to work in daylight for the first time in awhile. Tonight is knitting with the gals, Wednesday I have my Advance Winter Hiking Course. Should be a good week.

Having a rough day today, somedays are great and others all I think about are the things or people I shouldn’t be. I use to be so much better at walking away and moving on… ”

“I looked out the car window today and Im realizing that I miss you again. Its funny how out of nowhere you came to mind. the truth is, I wish you were still here.“

Sleepy, someday I may figure out that I am getting to old to stay out until 1am and then still jump out of bed at the early hour of 5am for work. At least next Friday is a day off, which means a Dive and Lucky Dog night possibly.

Yesterday after work headed to Cabot Ice Cream down Washington Street in Newtonville for Frozen Tofu, or Non-Dairy Ice “cream” , I had Pumpkin Pie, where they blend Pumpkin Pie into the frozen base, yummy. I then left the shop at 5pm and proceeded to get stuck in the Parking Lot of the Mass Pike, I am SO thankful I work early hours if I had to deal with that commute daily I would slice my own wrist.

By the time I got home it was too late for me to head to the gym so I cooked myself some dinner and then got ready to head out. Jason met up with me at the Dive, a couple drinks turned into 4 (ouch) and a late night which got me in bed around 1 this morning. I chatted with this gal Amanda (who stated she liked my style, coming from a ironically hip gal like her I was okay with). But I chatted, met new people and danced to the band, so it was all worth my utter exhaustion today.

Also decided to start going to Worcester Earn-A-Bikes Ladies Night, learn about maintenance and such, also work towards building my own bike…

Tonight I may not do anything or catch a movie, tomorrow I have a hike in the day and trying to figure out my evening. I was suppose to head to Boston for a friends B-Day outing but I am thinking against it. Sunday checking out that place with Mandy then heading to Connecticut to catch up with my gal Kelly.

I could use low-key because next weekend is going to be busy.

I need to get back into my workout routine, I am having a really hard time as of late.

This started by maybe being with someone where fitness was not a priority, then with knee issues following my Katahdin hike, then sickness for a few weeks. Even smaller hikes are kicking my butt, I haven’t been sleeping well as of late (I see 3:30am way too much, like every morning). So my energy overall is not at its normal peak, which then makes it hard to get myself moving after work and I wake far too early for work to get a good workout in prior.

So my clothes are a bit tight, my ass is not great, I just feel ick. So I need to stop making excuses and get back into the shape I was this summer. I had started eating eggs and some fish again, I think I am going to back off that for a bit too. I need to put me first again, workouts before time with friends, hikes on the weekend instead of staying up too late.

Not sure how I am suppose to meet anyone when I am not feeling so great about me right now, a couple weeks of getting back into the gym and hitting the trails some more and I will feel and look better again… Excuse while I go look at the class schedule for the gym…

I really should just stay in tonight and clean the loft, finish laundry and all the “fun” stuff. I have been on the go since last week and a night in wouldn’t do me much harm.

Last night I had a dinner/drinks and bowling date, was a good time even if I can’t seem to score over a 70, when did I suck so bad at bowling but I am perfectly fine with being bad at it and being a complete jackass at the same time. Had fun but I am sleepy today. This complete darkness on the way to work does not help my spirits, I need some sunshine in my life.

Tonight is the Mr. Smartass Theater at the Lucky Dog, if Kelly goes I may end up checking it out this month. All sort of tentative plans over the next 4-5 days but in reality I am a MAYBE on almost all of them, Mandy wants me to go check out an apartment with her on Sunday (she may get it, move in and I will join her at some point) and I need to see my old friend Kelly at some point on Sunday, she is going through a divorce and needs some girl time. Saturday maybe hiking with a Meetup group or maybe venturing on my own in the snowy mountains in New Hampshire…or I will do absolutely NOTHING all weekend..

Happy Hump Day

“You can’t depend on your judgment when your imagination is out of focus.”

Mark Twain

What a CRAZY weekend…

So Friday I rushed home to get ready for what was going to be a pretty busy, friend filled weekend.  I got home cleaned the loft up a bit, poured myself a little Cabin Fever, listened to some music and waiting for Becca to get out of work. I picked her up around 6ish for dinner, we headed to Brew City and ate some “Pre HIGH ABV Beer drinking” occurs.

Then back to my place so I could get all “Mario’d” up, Becca choose not to dress up as she had a long day at work and wasn’t much in the spirit, but whatever.  We ran by the photo studio but no one was there, so we both were not much in the mood to wait for them so we hightailed it to The Dive, because that was a guaranteed good time.

Upon arriving at the Dive, Mike P. was already there with his big trash can for Oscar and the place was already filling up. Soon Kelly, Matt, Jenny,John, and Mandy showed up along with Jason to meet up with Becca. A great time, great beer and music. The night was fantastic and when they decided to play “club music” at 1:50am to get everyone out, we all just started a dance party instead. Here is a video from when they finally thru the lights on, never good. The funny part is at the end when Jason sees me recording him and the total dude-bro hug between he and Matt.

Based on how I felt on Saturday morning I think I paced myself okay with my 15% ABV Olde Schools and 19% ABV 120 Minute. I need to learn to drink water more and a tad more sleep would have been good. I woke up and on FB Alec posted that Hangover Brunch was at 10 and not at 11. So I started my texting chain to the crew about this, ended up heading there around 10, Becca and Jason had grabbed the big window table for us, then Jason, Kelly, Matt, Jenny and John all arrived, the 9 of us spent 3 hours eating brunch and having as always great conversation. 2 Bloody Mary’s and Veggie Quiche made me happy. After brunch we all went our own way, more so we could relax. I ran to the store, along with all the other Massholes who needed to get their bread and milk before the impending storm that was approaching us on an  October Saturday night. I hadn’t even left Target around 2ish I believe before the snow started.

I headed home with one mission, only one mission to take a nap, which never happened. My phone was never ending text messages and it was concluded that Brad wanted me to head out on Saturday night, I offered my couch to him as I didn’t think 2am driving home in a snowstorm was the best idea. So he came over around 6, we made some mulled wine, chatted and then headed to Ralph’s for burgers (veggie for me) and drinks and to see the show upstairs that involved some burlesque girls. This one gal I was not crazy about the music she selected but for some reason she was fun to watch. Check out the videos here, it is in 2 parts. Part 1 and Part 2. (Part 2  is NSFW). Some friends made it to Ralph’s and it was learned that The Dog was closed, so the Deadites never went on, heard that the Dive was closing early. More or less this storm was yet again kicking Central Mass’s ass. I had no issues driving, my Subi loves this weather. It wasn’t like the Ice Storm in 2008 but the issue was a foot of heavy wet snow landed on trees with full leaf cover still, so the limbs were very heavy. I have a couple friends who had trees, limbs, and power lines fall on their cars, and houses. Not Pretty. Left Ralph’s around 1:30, the snow was just a mess at this point. I had worn my Batgirl tee, black skinny jeans, black boots and curled my hair, that was about as “dressed up” as I was getting for a snowy Saturday.

Woke up yesterday morning with a text from Jason seeing if I wanted to grab breakfast, I was like SURE thing… So I woke up Brad and we ventured up to College Hill to pick up Jason and Dan. I had passed by Jason and I’s normal Sunday breakfast place of Blanchard’s and it was packed so we headed to Corner Lunch, where we had the best waitress and a huge booth. After breakfast Brad headed home and I thought “A day to myself” well ended up having Mandy over as she needed a shower and then she and I headed for some “No Power but Limited Generator Power” shopping and then over to Friday’s (not my choosing) cause she wanted to watch the game and get a bite to eat. We sat and had drinks until her friend Tyler showed up. I got a text from Kelly around 5 if I wanted to work the door at Cirque, I was at first like “Okay that sounds like fun” I then headed home and the minute I started thinking of putting on a tight skirt, dress, heels and doing my hair and makeup all up for Cirque, was the minute I felt like putting on my sweats and doing nothing. So I backed out and got comfy, painted my nails, watched a movie, baked some Pumpkin Sugar Cookies, chilled on the couch with the cats and was in bed by 9pm. I was beat, it was a busy…busy…busy weekend I didn’t end up seeing Puss In Boots, but maybe one night after work, we will see.

So I am at work and half of Worcester is still without power, so the drive to work this am was far too easy.

Here is too a new week….

We got a tad bit of snow last night I stayed in and watched The Way We Were and drank some bourbon, and it seems from the weather reports we are getting 6-10 inches tomorrow in the Worcester area.

Woot Woot, maybe some local snowshoeing this weekend…

So this is a busy weekend with a lot of options for going out…

Friday (Tonight): After grabbing dinner with my girl Becca we will get ready and head over to the Worcester Photo Studio’s Halloween Bash, this is Mike and Pat’s studio and I am sure it will be some fun to check it out. Plus they need pics of me in my awesome costume. Then following Halloween tradition over to the Dive Bar for Dogfish Head Halloween Bash, this of course will be my last stop of the night unless others want to venture to Nick’s Zombie Halloween Party.

Tomorrow I wake up most likely still slightly intoxicated from one too many Olde Schools the night before to meet folks at the Abbey for the Dogfish Head Hangover Brunch. Saturday afternoon is about recovery, the issue is Dogfish Head only really makes big beers and 3 of even an Olde School is an adventure.

I seriously want to catch a movie on Saturday afternoon and that movie being Puss in Boots…

Saturday Night is a bit of a conundrum, the weather forecast is predicting 6-10 inches of snow in the Worcester Hills. So options head to Brookline to a friends party or stay local, maybe hit up the Deadites at the Lucky Dog or The Haunted Halloween Party at Vincents. Or SLEEP

Sunday most likely chill most of the day, maybe get a small local hike/snowshoe in. Sunday night is Cirque Du Noir at Ritual, I am still not 100% sure if I am going, it depends a lot on the rest of the weekend I suppose. But I am sure Kelly, Matt and Brad will talk me into it…

Anyways this workday needs to end, I wanna have FUN.

Last week while knitting with the gals, Melissa mentioned she was down at her families beach house in Rhode Island and she just happened to see me in a magazine. I had completely forgot about the pic that was taken by SO Rhode Island at the Joe Fletcher show. Too Funny Page 19 on this link, I look like crap but Brie, Mike and Carrie look great.

SO Rhode Island

*** You know this makes like the 15th time my pic has been in a magazine, weekly or daily paper. Still wish they would have used my pic instead of Luke’s Mug for the Foursquare Article last year, just ran into Steve Foskett a month or so ago, he is now doing videography for Telegram.

Another rainy day, with limited sleep last night and a morning that did not start off all that smoothly I would do anything to be back in bed for a bit. Tonight I may just relax, watch the The Way We Were, do my nails and get ready for a super busy weekend.

Last night I ran some errands, stopped at Macy’s in Marlborough because I was out of makeup, Benefit had a great “gift set” and a free gift with  $50.00 purchase. Then headed down to Providence to meet this guy for coffee, it went well I suppose, Starbucks, then walk around the East Side thru Brown and RISD campuses and down to Prospect Park overlooking Providence from the hill, the million times I use to walk up Benefit Street I never once sat in that park, as I thought I knew all of Providence. Headed home around 10, in bed around 11:30ish and asleep by midnight, to have the alarm go off at 5am.

Sleepy but it is JEANS day at work because it is also Clean The Office Day, so easy to get ready for work, my TPS light went on this morning in the pouring rain while on the Pike so I headed over to the rest stop to put air in what looked like inflated tires, but one of them I couldn’t unscrew the cap for, so it did not get air. I figure I will just run to Firestone after work, check my tires,oil change and finally get my overdue inspection sticker done… Suppose to snow tonight 1-2 inches, I love weird Fall snow, it looks pretty then melts away.

One more day then crazy weekend filled with costumes, good drinks and amazing friends

4th Annual -The Dive Bar- Dogfish Head Halloween Party

The Taps:
2010 Bitches Brew
2011 Faithfull Pearl Jam 20
2011 Hell Hound
2011 120 Minute
2009 Olde School
2010 Poppaskull
2009 Pangaea
2009 Burton Baton
Firkin of 75 Minute IPA
2010 My Antonia
2010 Black and Blue
2010 Theobroma
2011 Punkin
2010 Red and White
2010 SOUR Midas Touch!
2011 60min (for washing it all down:)

The Booze:
Dark Side Rum
Jin
Blue Hen Vodka
Grape Vodka
Chocolate Vodka
Blood Orange Vodka
Mango Vodka
Peanut Butter Vodka
Wit Spiced Rum
Vanilla Vodka

The band for this event will be playing funk, blues and soul music all night long and features Duncan Arsenault on drums, Paul Buono on Hammond B3, Johnny Trama on guitar, Dmitry Gorodetsky on bass, Dino Govoni on sax and Dennis McCarthy on vocals.

Sorry I guess I don’t get it…

So the leader for the hike on Saturday emailed me saying that he had a complaint that I chatted too much and drove someone “nuts” with my talking while on the hike. The word “nuts” was used and the email while trying to sound polite was also attacking, someone has never learned how to write to convey a message before.

Meetup.com by Wiki’s definition is: Meetup is an online social networking portal that facilitates offline group meetings in various localities around the world. Meetup allows members to find and join groups unified by a common interest, such as politics, books, games, movies, health, pets, careers or hobbies.

So I hike alone a lot, I hike with 8 different Meetup groups and AMC hikes. This is what I don’t understand, I was having a conversation with a gal Jessica about winter hiking, snowshoeing etc because she was interested in getting into it. I made her more excited during the 4 hours of hiking about other activities and I made a new friend. THIS is what I think Meetup.com was made for, I am sorry but it you want a hike that is silent, hike alone or with people who want a “quiet hike”. I hike alone when I want me and nature to have some time alone, but a 7 mile hike on Mid-State to Wachusett and back with 10 other people within a social group is not the time or place for that.

I am sorry that I added to peoples interest and awareness of year round hiking and mountain play and it ANNOYED someone else. I will NOT be hiking with this group again.

Way to make someone feel shitty !!!!

So damn sleepy this morning, it could be because I slept for crap yet again another night, I haven’t been sleeping well lately. Some life stress, some change of seasons and most likely partially the onset of insomnia once again.

Friday night due to the fact that I stayed out too late on Thursday evening I ended up crashing around 7:30pm, awoke to lights on in the loft and right back to bed until 7am. Almost 12 hours of sleep one would think that I was good to go. I woke up did some chores around the house and got ready for a hike with the C.H.A.O.S Meetup Group, a outdoor loving Meetup geared towards 40 and under. Which I enjoy as most of the time I end up on hikes with those old enough to be my parents and it is sometimes nice to meet new people around your age. Met this gal Jessica who I believe will become a hiking buddy and she wants to start snowshoeing this winter. It was a good time we did a portion of the Mid-state Trail then Wachusett; it was in the 50’s but a bit of overcast. After the hike I high tailed it to Austin Liquors in Shrewsbury for the Fall Beer Festival, Matt was pouring with Troegs and I knew Kelly may head there. So I tried a couple beers and used the rest of my gift card that I won at Still and Stir. I then headed home to try to take a nap for a bit before getting decked out in Beer Fairy Awesomeness for Jen’s party down in Connecticut. Around 5:30 I started getting ready, then headed to my folks to meet up with them and off to Jen’s for Halloween party fun. It was not a late night for me; I think I was tired because it was a long day with a 7 mile hike, then running around and some mild beer consumption. Got home a bit after midnight and crashed in bed within minutes of walking in the door.

Yesterday had a lazy early morning then met Jason for breakfast at Blanchard’s Diner, I was starving as I think my caloric intake on Saturday was not enough, so we ate then I mentioned wanting to head to the Local Beer Fest at Julio’s @1pm. So I ran some errands (aka the rest of my costume for next weekend) and then met him back at his house around noon and hit Trader Joe’s then a couple hours of sampling beer. Ran into a million people I knew as always and Jessica from hiking had shown up with her roommate, so chatted about a hike in a couple weeks. Got back into Worcester around 3, I headed to Kelly’s to pick up my overall-skirt for my costume, it came out AMAZING then home to relax for the res of the evening. Caught up on Fringe and did some laundry, dishes and went to bed nice and early, only to be WIDE awake at 1:30 and not fall back to sleep till after 3 am.

I am sure this will be a busy and speedy week, tonight knitting with the girls at Kelly’s because Kat is back from England, Wednesday heading to Providence after work, Friday is the Dive Bar party, with a quick stop at Mike and Pat’s Photo Studio party. Saturday Dogfish Hangover Brunch at the Abbey, maybe catch Puss in Boots, and the evening depends on a lot. I forgot I had signed up for a hike on Mt Jackson for Sunday, looking at a 4am morning rise if so, if I decide against it either will hit up The Lucky Dog or Vincent’s Halloween Celebrations or drive to Brookline for a party. Sunday possibly a hike (?) and then Sunday night it Cirque Du Noir. A VERY busy weekend it will be, but should be a lot of fun.

Exhausted, luckily it is a low-key Friday at work, all upper management is at Leadership Institute which means all “problems or cases” I am working on go on a hiatus as these are the people I work with on these.

Last night I head out to the Dive to meet up with Kelly, Matt, Jason and a million other people. We drank some beer, chatted, danced and listened to some great music. I stayed out a little later than I had planned and 5am sure came quickly this morning. So I am very thankful for a slow day today at work.

Tomorrow gonna get myself up early to hike, maybe I will do something local, because I am not much in the mood to drive 2 hours for a hike tomorrow, plus I wanted to make it to the Austin Liquor Fall Festival, Matt will be pouring for Troegs. Plus I have about $50 bucks left on my gift card so need to pick up some beer for my sisters party tomorrow night. Sunday no major plans but there is a chance I may just stay in Connecticut tomorrow night depending on how late it gets. The Julios New England Local Beer Fest is on Sunday…Maybe

A little bit tired today, was at Kelly’s late last night working on my costume for Halloween, I cut and pressed and sewed on buttons and she sewed the skirt/suspenders on etc. It looks amazing, she is finishing up the hem this weekend I am happy with the results. I have to run to Savers after work to see about a shirt, why buy new?

Having a rough day today, I have no ambition to do anything, I am not in the mood to socialize and ideally after this past 5 days, 3 weeks, whatever I am a bit emotionally spent and wouldn’t mind going home and crawling into bed and hibernating for a bit. Part of me thinks I should get dolled up and get out of the house tonight, but I doubt that will happen. I’m sad and I never really get that way, it’s weird usually I can just say “fuck it” and move on, but I guess that just shows me that this was much bigger then myself.

Thinking a solo hike is needed this weekend…Good for the soul, right?

“You can’t choose what stays and what fades away.”~ Florence + the Machine

Found this great blog post about “The Way We Were” the 1973 movie staring Barbra Streisand and Robert Redford, which kind of hits home. I am the complicated, intense gal that guys fall for, but then it never seems to work out and I sometimes wonder if this will be my situation down the road. I own this movie, time for me to sit down and devour it once more.

Hubbell to Katie: ”You hold on and I don’t know how. And I wish I did. Maybe you were born committed… I can’t get negative enough. I can’t get angry enough. And I can’t get positive enough.”

I have written for as long as I can remember. A couple weeks back I was looking through my totes of “Crystal’s Past” and came across a stack of old journals and diaries, from about the age of 10-ON. I use writing to workout my life problems, to create a timeline of events in my life for me to look back at when I am old. I sometimes wonder what will happen to this here blog, I think at some point I may have someone back it up for me so it can be printed, as I am not sure what form of technology will be used 40 years from now. This blog turned 6 years in August, amazing that I have kept it going, it has had its ebb and flows, time of great wealth in blogging especially during the loft debacle and the last presidential elections, the pride I took in writing for a political blog and it got picked up by Reuters.  Then times where it has been neglected for a week or three at a time, I try but sometimes no words were going from my head to the keyboard.

The quality of my writing or at least what I put out there for the public to view has improved a great deal, I am almost embarrassed if my post from 2005, the blog has survived one long term relationships, MANY moves, career changes, college, the house buying process (of two homes, one which never came into fruition), dating, the process and life of another short lived relationship, new friends, old friends and a million life experiences. There are times I go back and pick a month and read, the other day I picked July of 2006 only because I couldn’t remember that month, what an amazing ability to so easily do that.

I sometimes worry about putting my personal life details out there for the world to see, but I don’t believe I have a large readership at this point, I use to during the loft and elections because I wrote so much more about issues in the world then issues in Crystal’s world at that point. But the blog has always been for me, always.

So I ordered this cute book pictured above, about a Tweets worth of words can be written for each day, I am excited but unfortunately it arrived on a very emotional day for me, so the first entry may be sort of sad.

Last night after many of discussions Mike and I needed to just say “bye” for now, maybe some time apart, maybe we will fail at that, maybe we have to follow through. Either way it breaks my heart, sucks that two people can love each other so much but for some reason not be able to get it right. I have no idea what or where we will be down the road, 1 month, 6 months, 3 years but as my friend Jason said “Our story is not over”. I have loved three men in my life and funny he is one of them, and never thought I could love someone and it end up so short lived, again I have no clue but maybe just some time apart we can think straight, it was really hard leaving his house last night, when he says “Okay Beautiful, Don’t go off and get married right away” I think he doesn’t get it, it took me 18 months to find someone I would even call my boyfriend after Neil, and with Mike I am not ready to move on, I still hope, maybe more than I should that it will just happen for us. Maybe it will, maybe it won’t as we both seem to be miserable without each other, can’t seem to stay away, not contact. I have no clue honestly…Enough venting I am kind of a mess and I am almost not allowed to be a mess in front of my friends anymore, I am the “Girl Who Cried Breakup/Love” too many times… I drove home to tears streaming down my face, listening to Adele and The Fine Frenzy just to make matters worse. Come on tough girl, where are you?

I don’t get, I hate working the dynamics of a relationship in 2011. I hate the fact that I am suppose to be a 30-something gal who has her shit together so much that she doesn’t want a man (I already don’t need one). I don’t get that the new wave of the future is being together but not living together, keeping separate everything. To me this is silly, foolish and as much as I love my space a relationship with any growth potential should at some point include cohabitating. I as an independent gal, able to support myself (even when funds are tight) I am suppose to cling to my space, yes I LOVE having my own place. I have either lived with boyfriends or alone (never with roommates). I LOVE my space but I also love the ease of having someone there when you come home, some to cuddle with at night, someone who you can eat dinner with, and have that built in partner in crime. I have friends, interest, hobbies and I can fill my calendar minus a man any day of the week, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want that.

Unapologetically I am still a little old fashioned, I want a solid relationship with someone, and I want to know there is a person who can learn and count on me, as much as I can learn from and count on them.

Endless blogs and articles about couples choosing to never live together, couples who each spend a portion of a year away from each other etc. I wish I could buy into this if only because I feel this may be the way the future of all relationships is headed. But I want something REAL, do I want marriage (iffy) and I don’t want children, so I don’t think I require a lot, but I like a certain level of commitment in my life. Can society just slow down a little, I feel relationships with each other are deteriorating at a very speedy rate as of the last couple decades.

A bit of a crazy weekend to say the least…

Well Thursday night I met up with Jen in Brookline after I fed Chuck got ready, the original plan for the night was to have dinner and a drink with her then head back to Worcester to meet up with Jason at the Dive. Well conversation was going and I am also the type of person that even though I make a million plans, when I am having a good time I want the option to continue whatever plans I am involved with at the time. Also I had thrown work clothes in my car in-case this happened, well planned, so it ended up being a late night and I decided to crash at Rich’s since I was kitty/house sitting. Went to work on Friday tired but I made it.

Rich bought me a Tara McPherson skate board deck for watching Chuck while he was gone, I get to grab it tonight when I give him the house keys back, so excited.

After work on Friday I grabbed dinner, stopped at Wine Vine because they carry Taza chocolate and then met Kelly and Matt out. We went to the Still and Stir Bourbon Society event, so a tasting of many bourbons, specialty drinks made by the mixologist ( I like bars like this, reminds me of Drink in Boston) and a chance to sign up for the Bourbon Society, well I registered and then also won a $100.00 gift card to Austin Liquors. To explain I had won tickets to Rock and Shock from Worcester Magazine, which I gave to Mike and the EAC at Work 100 dollar winner for this week. I was having a real lucky week with WINNING things.

Saturday I had plans with my mother, Jim is in Vegas for 5 days and she wanted out of the house, so I met at our normal spot at the Auburn Mall and we hit up LOTS of places. We did lunch at Whole Foods and spent a good 8 hours bouncing around stores, I was shopped out. She bought me a new winter coat as my last wool dress coat was peed on by the cats, sigh.

Saturday night was a bit drama filled and I don’t wish to relive it, or most of the last part of the weekend. It sucks when you love someone to the point where you bend and bend, hoping they will meet you half way, but maybe it wont happen and maybe it will. Sunday I cleaned the loft, organized my clothes into seasonal order for ease of finding an outfit and started getting hiking winter gear situated. Mike came over for a while, we chatted and then when he left I went and grabbed dinner at the Abbey, met up with Brad so sat and chatted with him for a bit.

It’s Monday again, I am confused, tired and anxious for the next couple weekends. I have my sisters Halloween party this coming Saturday after a hike. Then the following weekend is Dive Bar- Halloween -Dogfish Head Night, Saturday is Dogfish Hangover Brunch, maybe Puss In Boots in the afternoon, Saturday night is a friends party in Brookline, Sunday is Cirque de Noir. Recycling Beer Fairy for next weekend and then another NEW costume for Halloween Weekend… To think November is filling up already too, when did my life become this BUSY.

“Love, being in love, isn’t a constant thing. It doesn’t always flow at the same strength. It’s not always like a river in flood. It’s more like the sea. It has tides, it ebbs and flows. The thing is, when love is real, whether it’s ebbing or flowing, it’s always there, it never goes away. And that’s the only proof you can have that it is real, and not just a crush or an infatuation or a passing fancy.”~Aidan Chambers

Been in a pretty weird place as of late, life at this moment is one ever evolving life experience. Completely lost to what I want, or how to obtain what it is I am wanting. Some how I believed in my 30′s all things would make sense, I would understand what it is I want and I damn well thought I would have it by now. Seems every so often life throws me off the hypothetical horse just to see if I can get back up.

I love a boy so much that I am willing to keep doing this with him, no matter what I have not once loved him less and no matter if he is broken or not, I see nothing but amazing in his person. To find someone who makes you laugh continuously and no matter how much fear you have in fully opening up, you do with little effort for this one person who just happened to walk into your life. I am confused at this moment on what will happen, Jason on Friday said to me, “you are a complex girl, you are not perfect why would you expect perfection and everything to just always work without effort.” also said he doesn’t know where Mike and I will be 6 month, a year or two years but he believes our story is not close to being over.

So I suppose that is how my weekend began, Friday night was pretzel making night at Kelly’s for the big Oktoberfest celebration on Saturday. Well Friday night became a “let’s polish off a bottle of Cabin Fever” between Kelly, Matt, Brad, Jason and I. All week even though Mike and I left it at whatever we text, I was allowing it to be casual, wasn’t trying to be up his ass, cause I want him to show me I suppose that he think about me. So Friday night Jason wanted to go out to have a cigarette so we sat on the swing set outside talking, he was telling me about his “great 1st date, who he was unsure about” and I chatted about Mike. Seems everyone but us gets it, Mike and I are just two stubborn people who happen to love each other, but need to figure out how to make it work. Jason gave me a lot of good sound advice, a critical eye at even maybe my expectations. He is a good friend for that. Well it turned into a m,e getting into bed at 3am night, knowing damn well the next day was a busy day.

Saturday morning I was in bed until about 10, ugh too much maple whiskey the night before, I swear it is the most evil thing ever created. I woke up and started my soup for party, I was making a Pumpkin-Ginger-Squash Soup, it came out pretty amazing and was a huge hit.. So here is the non-recipe-recipe.

1 1/2 Butternut Squashes Peeled and Cut

1 5 inch Ginger Root , peeled and sliced

1 29 oz can of pumpkin (I cheated was not in the mood to roast a sugar pumpkin, or just not time to do so)

1 whole stock/bunch of Chives, chopped up

1/2 large sweet yellow onion sliced

2 32 oz organic veggie broth

Kosher Salt to taste

Once the veggies, minus the pumpkin is chopped, place in large stock pot, add the veggie broth and additional water if needed to allow for plenty of veggie submersion.

Boil until squash is tender, almost mush.

Then take a strainer and seperate the stock from the veggies

I then use my blender, I add half pumpkin, half veggies and then some broth to allow for puree, I do this until all the veggies/pumpkin are gone. I then put it back in the stock pot to simmer.

This is where it gets tricky, I add a dash of nutmeg, a dash of cinnamon or pumpkin pie spice. Then I added about 2 tablespoons of Real Maple Syrup and 2 tablespoons of Light Brown Sugar, I went for sweet over savory but you could add chili powder to the soup for a little spice.

During this time I am texting with Mike, he says that his friend Ashley was over the night before and she was talking of her LD relationship and then more or less said to him that he was in love with Crystal and was a stupid boy. Most of our friends don’t get it, I believe Jason even mentioned, “So you guys get along perfectly, you can talk until all hours of the night, you can laugh and be silly and something about sex, but you question your relationship, why?” We get the same thing from all our friends for the most part.

So Saturday afternoon I headed to Kelly’s for around 2:30, helped with the end of set up and started to have a grand time, then sometime around 5 my phone gave me the Android screen of death and I ran to the AT&T store, they were not able to help me, so on the phone with the troubleshooting group and it was concluded that I would get a new phone. I had plans to head to the beach with Jason on Sunday but I was not gonna wait, and use my Blackberry minus a data plan for long. So I ran home grabbed my old Blackberry and then ran by Mike’s as I didn’t have his number saved on my SIM card. He showed me the world inside the game Rage, I then asked if he wanted to come with me to Waltham the next day to get a new phone,then maybe hit up the Spooky World Estate Sale in Sudbury.  I then went back to the party but because of the late Friday night and Whiskey consumption I was not all that much in the mood for drinking, I tended to baby my beer and I left around 10:00ish as I was exhausted.

Sunday morning I awoke and headed to Mike’s for 10ish. We stopped for a coffee and headed to Waltham, the process at the AT&T center was pretty painless then we jumped on Rt20 to Sudbury. The Spooky World Estate Sale was at maybe the late owner of Spooky World’s house, it was this amazing Mid-Century Modern home with an indoor pool. Much of the things I believe were picked over and much of it was expensive, but cool to see non the less. We then headed to grab lunch, Newbury Comics, and then back to Worcester. Spent some time at my house, then headed to Wooberry on the way to his place. I ended up spending the night, we watched Ed Woods movie and relaxed on the porch for a bit.

Yesterday was a day off from work so I grabbed lunch with Robyn and did some errands and shopping, hit the gym and knitting at Kelly’s last night with the girls. I picked up the fabric for my costume too, so excited.

Here is to another week… I hope things become more clear for me, I have no idea just yet but I am sure everything will work its way out.

“I’d rather be with someone screwed up and open about it than somebody perfect and ready to explode.” ~Ned Vizzini

I am stuck in this “I don’t know what to do about school” thing. I have 15 more classes (that includes my Practicum and Capstone) with University of Cincinnati, I have taken this term off to sit for my RHIT, which I have yet to sign up for (money) and now the results are 2-3 months out not at the time of exam taking. Or backtrack a little bit, sit for my RHIT, then go back to Fisher and finish my degree for Health Care Management, where I would need to take 22 classes and many of the classes I took for my Associates would no longer be valid, but I would have an RHIT. It would cost less to do the classes with Fisher because I have as an alum Fisher for Life which allows me 10 classes a year at 25% off cost of Tuition and I could take 2 classes at a time, instead of 1. UC is a pretty expensive school and the 15 classes I have left will cost me just over 20k more in student loans.

So many decisions…

This has been a pretty crappy last week. Between having the head cold from hell that had me in bed most of the last 5 days to the fact no matter what we do Mike and I can’t seem to get it together. I don’t remember it having to ever be this hard with anyone, it is apparent we care about each other I just think maybe we want different things. I don’t really know and maybe I am not meant to know, maybe someday down the road it will make sense, so maybe just let each other be for now, who knows.

Anyways I am back at work after missing a few days to sickness, hoping that I am well before this weekend. We have pretzel making on Friday night and Kelly and Matt’s big Oktoberfest Party on Saturday, the kegs have been ordered, the food is planned, the 6 hours of German music still exist on my Ipod from last year. This year I hope not to play Kings at the card table because that seemed to get me in trouble last year. I need to figure out what type of soup I am making, I believe I made a Pumpkin Bisque last year and it was a big hit for the non-meat eaters.

This past weekend I only got out of bed for FOOD, Abbey and WooDaddy Waffles and WooBerry Frozen Yogurt/Sorbet.

So this week I am just taking it easy, just ordered two cheap pairs of glasses from Zenni Optical, a few of my friends have and they have had luck, so why not. I will get a good quality pair soon but I don’t have the funds and my newest glasses were stepped on so I am wearing old glasses with incorrect prescription, so yeah something is needed. Here they are:

Also Sam called me last night and asked me to be in the wedding, so Bridesmaid Dress Shopping on November 13th, OH FUN.. I love weddings…

So friggen sleepy on this Monday morning, my cat (Peanut) is damn lucky he is alive this morning, he was an ass all last night, all night. He kept me awake most of the night even with me and my attempted early bed time of 8:30 because I was so tired.

I had taken Friday off from work, it was a slow week in Privacy and I was caught up on all other things so I took the time to run some errands, clean my car out, hang with Mike for most of the afternoon and then head home to get ready for Jess’s Surprise 40th B-Day party. I picked up Becca and we headed to the speakeasy, about 20 of us and the gals were able to pull off a good surprise. Got home around 1ish and in bed.

Saturday I made it to 9am X-Core class, there was only 3 of us, but it was a much needed workout after Friday night snacking at the party. Went home, painted for a bit (I think I was inspired by something Brad said the night before) organized the house and in the afternoon went to Mikes. He finally was feeling somewhat better so got him out of the house for a bit, ran to Newbury Comics and then grabbed a bite to eat. Ended up watching Star Wars (blue ray) and another movie and headed to bed after midnight.

Yesterday I had to get up early and head home to get ready for hiking with Becca and Jason. I knew I was in rough shape this past week between muscle pain from X-Core and allergies to the point I couldn’t breathe. I was not 100% yesterday, plus it has been 2 months since I have hiked, between summer and knee issues after Katahdin I was on a bit of a hiking hiatus, but I love Fall and Winter hiking so I need to ramp back up.  Needless to say I was not the best hiking buddy yesterday and I am sorry for Jason and Becca for that. It was REALLY humid (98%) so made it hard to breathe anyways. Seriously it is fall now, it can start acting like it. We didn’t leave until almost 10, got on the Marlborough Trail around 11 and then after our hike we hit up JP Stephens on 124 for beer and food. “Post Hike Beers > Sex” We ended up getting stuck in traffic in Fitchburg area on Rt 2 which sucked but ended up home around 7 after dropping both of them off. I was exhausted and was going to go to Mike’s but his boy wanted to play a game via xbox live I believe. So I headed to bed, and was not able to get a solid nights sleep due to Peanut being an asshole of a cat all night.

I am tired but have knitting with the gals tonight…

After work yesterday I ran to the market to get some items for Mike, he is stubborn and says he doesn’t need anything but seems appreciative when I do something anyways, maybe I am equally as stubborn.  Grabbed some soup, Gatorade, coconut water and some crackers for him, as he needed something in his stomach and to hydrate. Spent about 20 minutes with him but he was not up for company, so I let him be.

Ran home got ready and headed to the Abbey to meet up with Kelly and Matt for the Fall Harvest menu, and drinks. I felt a bit guilty that I was out and about and poor Mike was sick at home.

We chatted, ate and drank and I left around 8:30 to head home and relax, I have been battling some nasty allergies the last couple weeks so my head is a bit foggy right now. Not sure what the weekend will bring as Mike is still ill but I have tomorrow off and I hope he is better by then. Sunday hiking with Becca and Jason M. at Monadnock, I have slacked in my hiking as of late but this will be a good primer for the fall hiking season.

Cheers to my Friday today…

Well I am at work today, Mike has some nasty bug right now so our day in the city is being put off. Sad…first having to be at work and second not being able to spend the day as planned.

Most likely see how he is feeling by tomorrow and determine if Thursday or Friday would be a better day to do so. I only hope I do not end up with whatever he has, as I spent the night with him last night.

Here’s to a rainy Tuesday in September….

Yesterday was my brother Jay’s wedding and what a great day it was. Ran home from Mike’s first thing in the AM to get ready for the wedding, then pick up Jason around 9:30am to head to Peabody. During the time Mike and I were not together, Jason offered to be my date and I knew it would be a fun time, so why not.

We got there and helped with the final set-ups, place settings, pumpkins, name/seat place holders and so on. Both of us decided to get changed once we were there because wrinkles from sitting in a car for an hour and half would not be so good.  The ceremony was nice, the dresses were beautiful, Jason and Mark looked sharp in their suits, and the weather was perfect.

The reception was exactly what Karen wanted, she wanted a relaxed wedding without all the annoying things that make a wedding “by the books”. Smith Barn was beautiful and again the weather was perfect, allowing for indoor and outdoor seating and conversation.

Perfect Day with a couple I couldn’t be happier for, love them both and now that the wedding and house buying are all done maybe I get to see the more.

Busy weekend, and now a slow Monday at work. Friday I skipped my X-Core class because I just had so much to do, then Mike came over. I made us dinner, we relaxed for a bit then heading to Beatniks to see Keri and Craig’s band Sugar and the Cane Breakers. They call their sound Funk and Soul, or as Matt called it Funky Soul.  The four of us grabbed the corner both, had snacks, cocktails and listened to some music and I was able to get my hands on an 8×11 print for their upcoming show, it was done by Nick at Rockstar Revolution. I liked it because the colors were very Tara McPherson like.

Saturday morning we awoke and I made a huge-killer breakfast for us, and we chilled until noon time. Finally got ready and headed to his house to drop off his truck, run a couple errands, finally met Mike’s “bff” Mike on Saturday which was great, he has a soul mate friend, they cracked me up together and it was nice to finally see him interacting with his closest of friends. As his friend Mike stated, it “seems official now, since I have met him”. Mike and I then ran to the new Toys R US in Northboro then dinner at the Sea Dog Steak and Ale House. Followed by an early evening in watching Piranha.

Sunday was Jay and Karen’s Wedding Day….Next Post about that…

Last night I decided to do some cleaning and cookie baking. I opened a bottle of wine, played some music and started baking. First I made the Chocolate Chip with Oreos for Mike. Then of course made myself some Peanut Butter with Chocolate Chips. Around the time the second batch was done and the sink/counter were cleaned up Becca came over to help me polish off the wine and catch up, the shortly there after Kelly came over with another bottle of wine for us to share. Chatted with Kelly until around 11, which was nice to not feel like I had to go out last night but still get some quality friend time in last night.

It is finally Friday, 5 day work weeks suck, worked so many short weeks in the last month and things are slow at work right now, so this week has taken forever. I have X-core tonight then Mike is coming over for dinner and relax, maybe hit up Sugar and the Cane Breakers at Beatniks if we are up to it. Tomorrow making a lovely breakfast then maybe a movie, grab coffee with his friend Mike (who I have yet to meet) and chill, as Sunday is my brother Jay’s Wedding. I am so excited for him and Karen.

So decided that September is my “get back in prime hiking shape” month, the summer was rough, the heat is not my friend with hikes and seriously the shape of my knees after my solo Katahdin summit at the end of July was not much help.  So August was busy with “summer” activities beaches, camping, music festivals and so on.

Now we are entering fall and I am ready to run up some mountains, so busting my butt with the X-Core Boot Camp, the cost may keep me from being able to continue each month, but I am LOVING it. Except the pulling of my right deltoid during a 1-2 sprawl. But three times a week of this amazing workout is a good start, along with some cardio on off days.

Next Sunday heading up to Monadnock with Becca I need to make sure my knees can handle bigger hikes next month. I wish I could get a new body and start all over, treat it right and not have to deal with knee issues ever again. God without arthritis in my knees the things I could do, maybe run, or push myself hard on workouts…

Pretty amazing how quickly things can change, but seem as if they never did. Interesting weekend to say the least, Thursday after a text from Mike I decided to see him, well that was the beginning of whatever is occurring now. No matter how much I wanted to be the strong girl, he did make me very happy and after lots of talking, thinking and running things by the people we both trust, it was decided that even if all relationships have an expiration date, ours hasn’t been met yet. So one day at a time but we both know our time is not up.

Anyways Friday morning I had woke up exhausted and just not able to get myself out of bed, so I played hooky from work. It has been a crazy past month and looking forward to some chill time coming up. Heading later in the morning to get coffee and shop with my mom and get some feedback from her, I headed back to Worcester in the afternoon to get ready for my X-Core class and then Mike was coming over to watch a movie and order take-out.

Saturday I met up with Mandy, she cut my hair and we headed to the Natick Collection to spend too much on makeup it seems, grabbed lunch at the BBC in Framingham and home around 4. Since not having any real set plans I knew I was kind of tired but I wanted to go out, so I text Jason to see what he was up to. Ended up meeting him at the Dive then over to Ralph’s to see his friends band play, was home around 1am.

Sunday was a chill morning, I woke up and wanted breakfast so ended up meeting up with Brad the Abbey for Bloody Marys and yummy food. After a two hour enjoyable brunch I ran home to grab my knitting and planned on spending the afternoon/evening with Mike. He needed to finish some yard work so I sat on his porch and knit while he did so, then we grabbed dinner and just relaxed until it was time for me to head home and sleep.

So here we are Monday once more, on a 5 day work week. I am taking next Tuesday off as Mike has vacation so we are going to head into Boston to the Aquarium and some food. This coming Sunday is my brothers wedding I am so excited, I honestly couldn’t be happier for Jay and my amazing soon to be sister in law Karen. They are amazing together and I can’t wait.

“Never ignore a person who loves you, cares for you, and misses you. Because one day, you might wake up from your sleep and realise that you lost the moon while counting the stars.”

Rainy gloomy days are starting to get to me, tonight I will head home and just relax. I have seriously been burning the candle at both ends, last night I went to Liz’s Poetry feature at The Raven. Another late night followed by early am tossing and turning and 5am alarm. Yet another day I couldn’t get out of my own way.

I haven’t been totally honest on my blog as of late, even to the point I writing a post and then making it private as to not appear like my normal strong, “don’t really give a shit” Crystal, as I know people who may read what I write. But all the filling up of my time in the world doesn’t seem to make things easier for me, all the resorting back to Crystal who is better off without someone in her life, doesn’t make me stop thinking. Always been my biggest downfall, over-thinking. I mean it is has never been the case where I have been with someone who I so very much enjoyed my time with them, even if it was doing nothing, who made me laugh and feel like a fucking human once more, for me to just let it go. And to say it has been an easy decision I would be lying and to say I don’t miss talking to him everyday would be even more of a lie. But I am 31 years old and if I am going to fully invest in someone I am playing for keeps, whatever that means in my head.

In reality I want nothing more than not to care anymore, I just don’t when that will happen. So funny and so unlike me, tisk tisk. Figure dating anyone else right now would be unfair and worthless, because I honestly have no interest in being with anyone right now, well that is almost back to normal. Fucking stupid head of mine.

Lots of localized street flooding today… Can’t wait to see the state of the garage later.

Check out Worcester is Major

The normal areas are flooded along with parts of Rt 20, 290 and 190. 146 near the Mass Pike exit/ Quinsiq Village

Worcester Magazine has a great section on Fall Happenings in Central Mass and beyond. I love me some fall. Missing stART this year because of my brothers wedding, which makes me a bit sad but there are other great things to do. Can’t wait for:

October 1 – 2: North Quabbin Garlic & Arts Festival: 60 Chesnut Hill Rd., Orange. Delight in over 80 amazing art and agriculture booths; everything is made by hand or locally grown. Support fabulous artists and farmers and strengthen regional economy, shopping locally on a gorgeous farm illuminated by fall foliage. Family friendly. A $5, weekend pass $8. C 12 and under free. garlicandarts.org.

This weekend is the Providence Art Festival and the last weekend of the Brimfield Antique Flea Market.

The rainy weather is not helping my overly tired body and mind. I am exhausted and it is only Wednesday. Driving to work in darkness and rain, doesn’t make for a chipper Crystal.

Plus my body HURTS, it has been a couple months since I have done even just my Muscle Conditioning class at the gym, and here I am in Crossfit type boot camp on Mondays, Wednesday and Fridays this month. Couple dozen burpees, some tuck jumps, high five push-ups and another 8 exercises. I now can’t lift my arms or sit down, but it is a hurt so good kinda feeling and I am sure the results will come rather quickly.  So tonight I have class then I need to make it to The Raven around 9, because it is Liz’s feature at the Poetry Night and it is her Birthday.

As of right now I was going to go hiking on Saturday but I am sure I will be a hurting unit, so maybe down to Providence Art Festival., as I will be missing stART this year due to my brothers wedding. Last night I picked my dress up from the seamstress, it looks pretty hot and I can’t wait to wear it…