I Heart Peanut Butter

So come the end of November my lease is up in my apartment. I am moving whether it be across the city or to another city. I am on the fence with so many decisions. Do I get a 1 bedroom in Worcester for continued solo living? Do I get a 2/3 bedroom so to be able to have a roommate and keep my cost down? Do I move closer to work and leave my social network here in Worcester?

If anyone knows any good apartments that may be free in 3 months let me know because I KNOW I will not be staying at the Bancroft.

1 Bedroom : $850 or less per month, H/HW included would be nice and Parking. Prefer HW floors and MODERN/CLEAN space

This listing is pretty close to what I am looking for CL LISTING. Although it is on Pleasant Street, UGGG.

2/3 Bedroom $1000.00 or less per month same as above.

Something like this one CL LISTING

Or always BOSTON area….

An outdoor space always a nice thing too.. Balcony works..

This would also be an ideal roommate situation: CL LISTING or this with lake front, meaning kayaks would have a  home CL LISTING

Couldn’t have asked for a better weekend, well maybe a bit less tired. Friday’s scare of Hurricane Earl was nothing to write home about, some rain and in Worcester barely any rain. I was dead tired from the late Thursday night but was still dragged out to Nick’s for a couple beers to catch up with my dear Sarah and then chill with Stephen for a bit.

Saturday morning arose and was a bum for a long as possible if being a bum includes running some errands, finally cleaning out my car since I bought it, then cooking 4 lbs of pasta salad for Liz’s Birthday Party in the Parking Lot.. Headed to Institute Park for the 1st Annual Open Road Music & Arts Festival. I will say I believe it was a bit overpriced for a 1st year. Day of show tickets were $20.00 and that in my mind is steep for what a person is getting. The cost of Tweed River was $50.00 for whole weekend including camping from Friday to Monday.

After a whole afternoon in the sun and a bit of a weird sunburn headed home to freshen up and head to party #1 of the evening at Liz’s, which was a good time along with Stu’s (Dr. Gonzos) cocktail of the evening. Kelly, Jenny and John and I all headed to Monika’s party which included LOTS of booze, a Moon Bounce and an Ice Drinking Louge. I have to say the Polish folk sure know how to have a good time. By the time we got there we were all pretty beat, a long day it had been.

Sunday my only real plan was Emily and Keith’s Labor Day Cookout and Beer Extravaganza, Keith being the best home brewer I have know it is always a good time. 9 hours of food, fire and tasting of beers made for another tired evening. I love that Keith takes risk with beers, an amazing sour, a coconut porter and a double IPA all made for great beers on a Sunday.

Yesterday I had plans with this fellow Brian who lives in Boston, I took my bike to the city with me and we decided on a picnic in the park. It was around 20 miles of riding which today I am feeling a great deal. Followed by rewarding ourselves with beer and food at the Penguin Pizza , which I have to say has a pretty amazing beer selection and damn good food. The amazing day for a long ride and good beer was followed by Knit and Bitch with the gals, which really is a time to catch up and chat..

Came into work today on this fine Tuesday more than ready to take on the world..

Signing off for the Day- Potsy

Open Road Music & Arts Festival

Tomorrow 11-6

Institute Park

Just when I thought the runs of good nights and weekends was over for me, last night although it was a Thursday was one of those amazing nights with friends.

Ben had suggested that we get to the Dive early as Shana Morrison was performing last night out in the beer garden, that we also bring food, goodies, antipasto evening. So everyone brought some food from hummus to cheese and we sat at one of the big tables. Everyone showed up chatted and listened to the very soulful voice of Shana Morrison, which she did a very long set.  The Dive Bar was alive last night, everyone was out enjoying the perfect Thursday air, the music and each other. Got up and mingled for a bit and said hello to other friends, meet some new people.

The group of us discussed how the Dive is just this perfect place, where a group of friends who want to just enjoy the music, the air and good conversation can be. Last night was one of those nights.

Got home pretty late and stayed up even later, thinking I am going on about 2 hours of sleep, but I will do fine. I have a Hurricane Adventure Date tonight in Boston, we will see how this goes. Tomorrow with the group to the Open Road Music and Art Festival… Can’t wait

Not so proud of myself. The summer caused me to be careless and forget what I want and believe in. I took a few detours from my vegan lifestyle, I feel guilty a bit dirty and hypocritical.  But with that being said, I am back 100% no more slip ups with butter/eggs or other dairy in my food. I think I got tired of being the difficult one for a while and stopped asking and just ate.

Some had to do with this : Vegan and Omnivores in Dating . It is a hard thing to decide vegans take up 1% of the population in the United States and even vegetarians vary so much in what they will eat and not eat. Hard being a single gal with such a restrictive lifestyle, but ethically it is how I must live.

At times I get so mad at myself for allowing others to dictate my happiness, is the process of getting to know someone, allowing that person to know the true-real you worth it in the end. I guess I need to hold back more, I need to not allow anyone who has not proven themselves to me in that far.

I have a constant need to be needed, to be the one person another can lean on, feel good around and hopefully I bring them joy. But the burden of being that type of person is sometimes much more than I can bear. I am strong and independent, due to my ability to manage not only my own life but others as well I am sometimes taken for granted. I invest in almost everyone I meet, another mistake, another extremely ammature move on my part.

Has experience and age not made me more cautious, when will I learn my lesson. My character is very much optimistic, I believe that something amazing will happen at some point. But over the last year my mind runs to doubt, doubt that I will find someone who compliments me, who will car or love for me in an equal way to the way I care and love for them. Maybe I am just in love with love, yet I am so not one to rush it. So I think I need to meet that person who I will sooner or later fall for, 100% fall for because it will take me some time to feel as if love is what it is.

I am not afraid to say that I am lonely, not all the time but mostly in the evenings when I crawl into bed and think about how great it would be to have someone there with me. But most of the time I look forward to time with my friends much more than time planned with a guy.

But I need my happiness back, I need the spirit that surrounds me that is fun, colorful and the person that brings a smile to everyone else’s face. I like that Crystal a great deal, she is pretty amazing.

The last week has been busy and enjoyable, but made me realize that I do not function that well on no sleep. Between art openings, late night with friends late enough to watch the sun come back up,dinner with my brother and his gal, late summer beach trips followed by beer in Portsmouth, meeting new and interesting people, local baseball games in which knitting is one of the activities and comical commentary over bad films.

I suppose I am trying to get use to the fact that I am sleeping very little and with my workouts back in gear (good lord the Muscle Conditioning class is kicking my butt) 40 hour work weeks once more it is tough to go out on a school night- more than once a week.

Tonight a night at the Dive, where I believe I will be bringing Jose (God I have not seen him in a long time, going to be great) to see Shana Morrison (Van Morrison’s Daughter) perform. My friends and I have decided to have our own antipasto night in the beer garden at the Dive so to “reserve” OUR table. No one else is ever crazy enough to take our table because while it is always closest to the band, it is the one where you can not carry on a conversation. But it is all good..

Tomorrow night headed into Boston to meet a fellow for dinner and pool/bowling/coffee/shenanigans. While things as of late in my non-existent love life have not been so great, I am still going to be optimistic that there is someone who is “right” for me out there. That person being someone in which I do not need to compromise who I am and what I want in order for it to work. I know I kick ass and the right guy will also believe this

Saturday I do hope EARL stays away, The Open Road Music Festival is occurring at Institute Park, then a birthday celebration at Liz’s and then Labor Day Good Times Party @ Monika’s. I prey FOR NO RAIN as all of these events take place outdoors. Sunday Labor Day Beer Event at Emily and Keith’s house the one Memorial Day weekend was a great time, very much looking forward to this one. Monday I have no real solid plans just yet, may help Kelly with her beer wench costume for her upcoming Oktoberfest Party, which means I need to think about what I am going to wear also.

So although I am stuck at work all day today and tomorrow- my Labor Day weekend really does start tonight.  Have a Safe and Fun Labor Day and stay dry.

Underground

and…..

“Love Hope Sex Dreams” Opening Reception

The weekend is upon us once again. I do hope this weekend turns out better than last weekend. I have jam packed my weekend from art openings (2 of them night) along with dinner with the girls tonight and plans with my friend Dennis.

Tomorrow I have plans to go to the rock gym in Everett  and then dinner at my brothers to celebrate he and his amazing girls engagement. Maybe grab a drink with another friend at the end of the night.

Sunday heading up to Maine with Kelly to spend a day at the beach, play on some rocks and just get out of Worcester for the day.

I can’t see how this weekend will go bad except I am a bit tired and my brain may shut down on me at some point.

HAPPY WEEKEND !!!!!

This past weekend was a bit of a mess and not much to write home about, so I won’t. It seems after months of amazing weekends I would have one that made me question every decision I have ever made.

The Good: Pretzel and Cocktail Night at Kelly’s, The Attempt to get into the Tom Petty Concert and the Fishy Fishy Fishy Cook-Off at Dr. Gonzos, and hanging with a new friend on Sunday.

The Bad: interactions that went bad with a certain someone, thinking the people who we went with to the Tom Petty concert put something in our drinks, and overall not being happy with the direction my life has been going.

I have an amazing job with a significant amount of responsibility which is the one thing that motivates me, but I still live my “off-time” as if I do not have this important position that requires my A-game each and everyday. So I am making some life changes, that to include how much time I spend with people who are not good for me in ways that remind me of being 20 again. I am back to working out which for me makes me pleased.

I have opened myself up to meeting other guys at this point, maybe I do want someone who is a constant in my life, someone for adventures but who knows. I still don’t know what I want and I only can assume that I will hopefully recognize it when it comes along.

Well I started knitting last night, not very good but with practice I will get better..

Tired to the point of not thinking straight, it was a pretty amazing weekend in the Green Mountains, on this parcel of land that was roadside on two streets, where the music and the beer co-existed. I will share some pics and stories over the next couple days, but all I can think is come on Tweed River Music Fest 2011…

Woot Woot.. For Worcester People…showing the love in Vermont…

Getting out of work at 4:30 today and heading on up to Vermont for the Tweed River Music Festival . I am functioning on 3 hours of sleep but with the help of music and coffee….coffee…coffee I should be ok.

Tweed River Music Festival

Did I mention like all of Worcester is going….well not all but a large group..

Right back where I started.

Well I am down to less than 4 days before I am working again, a real job in my field. Although I did not achieve all my goals so far this year this one was a big one. I am anxious and excited, I can’t wait to have less time to worry about everything else in my life, I don’t mind working. I like being busy and tired and feeling like a normal person.

I have a lot on my mind this week mainly because things never happen the way you want them to. Mostly because things are always done on other peoples terms, you just have to decide what your own terms are too.

The summer was amazing I meet new people, reconnected with old friends, went to the beach a couple handful of times, went out and about and enjoyed my life and the people in it. That I wouldn’t change for the world, the last couple summers I was in school all summer, I was working and studying with no time for myself never mind other people. This summer although money was tight I had an amazing time.

I am making it my goal to get back on my fitness goals that rocked 8 of the last 11 months of my life. I have come a long way and the amount of beer and food that is casually consumed when you are free for a summer is never a good thing. I have 15 weeks of workouts from Jen and I am going to start back around week 3 before all the running started. I have stayed within 5 lbs of my weight all summer even with my glutenous ways, but I can tell the weight is shifting from muscle to fat and that DOES NOT MAKE me happy.  I have about 35 more lbs to loss to be happy where I am at. I also still need to work up to running a 5k, at this point it won’t be until Spring. I was able to loss and maintain 35 lbs over the winter and spring I know I can do that again thru the fall and winter. The gym at my new place of employment will be nice, bring my gym clothes work out for an hour after work and then head home and not get stuck in all the traffic or if I am truly ambitious I will workout in the early morning before work.

Need to FOCUS again…

I start working in 6 days and I have no idea what to do with myself. I have a car and I seem more lost than the almost month I was car-less. I think I have been really lucky to have the summer off, I have been out of work since May and it has allowed me the time to enjoy life a bit minus money and for the last month a car. But not one bit of this summer has been regretful, I have had a lot of fun. I am in the mind set that I am not sure where my life is gonna fit in around work again, that always seems to be an issue.

I need the structure of a job, my ADHD gets a bit out of control when I have no daily schedule. I need to start working out again, eating  better and drinking a bit less beer.

This week is gonna pretty low key I believe. Plans with Paul tomorrow night, maybe hang out with Sarah during the day a bit. Wednesday is Mr. Smartass Theater at The Lucky Dog, Thursday is no-hold bars night to celebrate the last Thursday before I start my new job, Friday movies with Paul. The weekend is still up in the air, but I may get the hell out of dodge for a couple days before going back to work on Monday.

Life overall is pretty damn good……