As of late I have been in this place where I need to figure out the next step, again at 32 years old I am reevaluating everything I thought I knew I wanted. Money has been tight but yet I still manage to live a very full life, as tonight a random Wednesday night I went out of Andrew’s boat with him for a bit, learned about the GPS/Sonar and how he uses it for fishing, so I was able to navigate where all the fish were. It was pretty cool, throw in there amazing weather and a sunset that was almost perfect, there my friends; is my life.
This summer so far has been filled with amazing friends, hiking, backpacking, kayaking, camping, music festivals and just great times. Still in the next month I have to look forward to camping/tubing with friends in Western Mass, rafting with other friends in Western Mass, a couple cookouts and in the process of planning a Whites Backpacking trip for Labor Day weekend.
Part of me wishes I was in some silly relationship to share all this, but at the same time the freedom to do all that I do comes from not being tied down currently. I can come and go as I please, I can flirt and not flirt, I can have my best friend Jason over until late hours talking or go hike with other guys without some jealous boyfriend hounding me. I sometimes feel I need to apologize for what I like about my life, I was always told to settle down was the direction to go, I hate the term “settling down” for one, I feel like even if I met the person who would be my forever, I would never settle down, I would expect my forever person would be like me, wanting to explore and live everyday fully. Thanks to my siblings all being married now I believe my mothers last wish other than more grandchildren is to have her daughter married. I feel right now I want to do what I want to do, and yes the right person will just work into my life if that happens but I am not sure I want to start a relationship anytime soon, maybe the fall/winter will want this. Here is why, because I know myself and once I am with someone I will start making compromises because I would want to be around them more, which means I am not doing EVERYTHING I want to do at any given time, and right now I want to do what my free time allows for me. I want last minute craziness with friends, and being able to plan weekends away. I live my life, I live for a living and it pretty much rocks.
Not sure what I am thinking at this point, but other than really wanting to be back to work full time I am amazingly happy with my life. I couldn’t ask for better friends, housemate, family…I have a million reasons to smile on any given day !
Pics from tonight on the boat…
“Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it.”
― Mother Teresa