Almost December already, amazing how this year has just passed by. To think of how much different my life is right now compared to a year ago. Crazy.
So the new single Crystal may not like herself as much as she should, I am critical of myself and judge others way to easily. I have been dating, if you want to call it that. More like free dinners and conversation where nothing seems to occur. At least I got a dinner right? I am just having a really hard time with connecting to anymore, I am sure I am not ready to jump into another relationship, if anything I have learned I need some time for me, before being able to give to another person. I spent most minus about 1 year of time in my 20′s within the confines of two relationships. 9 years with two guys, one who made me learn what I didn’t want and the next to learn what I did want. So now just a month before my 30th birthday, I know what I want, now it is the puzzle of putting it back together. I am not always an easy person to be with, my expectations for others are at the same level as those of myself. But I believe I am caring, understanding and compassionate. But I am also easily bored by people and mostly by the norm. I prefer to spend my time with someone I will learn from as much as they can learn from me. So how do I find this person? Who knows but for right now I am learning to be content being with myself, and the occasional no chemistry date that I seem to go on.
But for as much as I loathe dating I am not going to settle with someone just to have someone in my life, hell I am not even sure where I will be living in a year. May have to rename the blog to “I Heart Peanut Butter takes on…..LA……..San Francisco……..Chicago….” who knows. Hopefully will have my credentials in the spring and then I am marketable, extremely marketable. Cause while the jobless rates may be climbing, my industry there is never enough qualified people to fill the positions. Having my credentials for me still equals sign on bonuses in other parts of the country.
All I know is the winter will suck, will be the first winter since I was 16 that I have been “single” and no one to curl up and watch a movie with on days of 2 feet of snow I am sure will be tough. But then again that is time for me to do crafts, study for my exam in March and so much more. I never am bored for more than an hour. Until then I have a void filler if you want to call it that, something that will never be more than what it is. Oh Well….. But it works until I find someone I can connect with.
But things are good. I have a very cute apartment and soon I am starting my job across the street. I have some great friends and overall things are GREAT.