I Heart Peanut Butter

So thank god, that last nights “State of the Union” address was the last from our President George W. Bush.
He spoke words that was not the reality of the current state of our country. He spoke and half of the room apploded every silly grin and word he spoke while others shoke their heads in disbelief.
I know for a fact this country will not vote for another Republican, we are much smarter than that, but then again we voted for him twice.

Here is the Video from Obama and his reaction to last nights speach.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cmNCALGHOC4

I have been so tired lately that I have no energy for even a somewhat decent amount of words on the blog, unless of course it is full of negative thoughts. School seems to have me where I have not been for many years, mentally exhausted. We have 5 weeks for each class 3 hours a day 4 days a week. I am on class 60 hours within 5 weeks. Out of control. There is no way possible I have retained even 1/3 of what I have learned. Maybe all of a sudden one day it will make sense.

Been chillen on the weekends, I do not have alot of money so keeping it low key seems to be the way to go, sometimes I feel it would be easier not to be in school and just be working so I can have money again. No vacation for at least another year, sighhhhh. Our last real vacation was in May of 2006. Seems like ions ago.

Been studying and doing homework, while cleaning other peoples homes because it is really the only thing I can do better than most people, is clean. I know I am prehistoric and behind. But to me there is nothing shameful at being good at cleaning and organizing. Nor do I feel beneath anyone for the fact that they pay me to clean their home. I am good at what I do and people with one to many kids or hectic work days want to enjoy life and not clean. So that is where I jump in.

Just waiting for my ankle to get better and be able to head to the gym again, I have more than enough time too, but right now I am bruised, swollen and hurting. Damn sprains…at least I hope that is all it is.
Well I am off…….

So it is Friday after a pretty crazy week at school. And it was a short week at that. I have piles of work to do over the weekend, neither of the classes are giving me a break. I have two papers due in the next two weeks. The Psychology one is the easy one, an opinion paper and anyone that knows me, knows that I have no issues with giving my opinion. But the one for Med Term must be full of Medical Terminology, MLA Citing and other professional journals references. NO FUN.
So I need to go and jump in the shower since I have a cleaning job this morning. I like working on my terms.

So as far as 2008 is going. Shitty.
I am exhausted, in pain ( enternally and externally), bruised, dizzy and tired. Out of shape and full of pains. Chubby and not feeling very pretty.
Can I rewind and start over again …PLEASE

Besides Neil who do I have? No one really. I have a family that wants me around when I am the good one, the one that does favors for everyone because that is what Crystal does, tries to please everyone. Now my sister is back from Florida and all of a sudden wants something to do with family and Mike is living downstairs then I am the outcast once more.
Well I didn’t get someone knocked up after knowing them for 2 months and I wasn’t knocked up.I do not only contact my parents when I need something.
I am the good one. I am the one whose life is the in the best place yet I feel estranged once more.

Even my mother text me to say: Going with Grandma, haven’t seen her in 2 weeks, going with her 5 minutes from my house, the only time she saw me was for me picking her up from the airport in the last two weeks. Yesterday was one of my days free when I could have went somewhere.
Always excuses and always cancelled plans. What else to I expect from anyone. All this shit does to me is push me further away. I don’t need it nor do I want to deal with it. And as an adult, the thing people tend to forget I am I don’t have too.

I am one of those people that tends to A-OK alone… I don’t really need people around and I am a loner by choice. choice being not wanting to deal with ignorance most of the time. I consider myself fairly intelligent and there are somethings I know more about than others, regardless of age. I know things.
I am tired of being shot down, tired of people asking from me but never wanting to do something with me that does not only benefit them. I would be all to happy to pack up Neil and I and move as far away as humanly possible.

I can’t deal with bullshit anymore. I am far to good a person to deal with it….

This month has been tough t0 this point. Food Poisoning and reactions to a medication made for a hurt body and constantly trying to feel better.
Last night I felt light headed and next thing I knew I coming through on the floor of the shower. Neil said it was only for a few seconds but I do not remember one bit of this happening. I knew I felt dizzy so I leaned up against the wall of the shower and next thing i know Neil was picking me up off the shower floor, me and all the bottles of shampoo and body wash.
What a friggen mess I am!!!!!!
Had a couple harder test in my classes today. BLAH. I really want to just get done here and then go to Umass or such for Nursing. This is the beginning and the stepping stone. I associate with people like me who are serious about there education and, hell we are paying for this we should expect to get out of it what we put in.
It is hard sometimes being in a school were people who have nothing better to do come and decide hell they may try they may not.
Anyways I am doing ok and I am putting the effort in.
I sit here next to two girls who are in the library as a social event and passing notes back and forth to each other. AHHHHHHHH

I also decided that I need to stop acting like such an adult and have fun again. Paying bills with my little unemployment checks makes me anxious and irritated. I need to start enjoying life again. Winter tends to do this to me also because it is friggen to cold to be anywhere other than home. No hikes, no climbing and no window shopping in Boston.

Relax….and get off my fractured ankle. I know I messed it up when I feel but who wants to pay a doctor to tell me to stay off of it. Money is tight right now and if I had an extra 100 bucks I would buy some shoes…

I am off….

Today was the day to celebrate my birthday 2 weeks late..
We went to PPAC- Providence Performing Arts Center to see RENT.
I had seen rent about 10 years ago in New York with a couple of friends with the original cast so I did go today with some skepticism but I will say it was very well done.

HEINZ WINCKLER playing Roger was fabulous. And Tom Collins character played by American Idol ANWAR ROBINSON top 10 finalist did a fantastic job with his first real acting job .

We had read in the Boston Globe that the critic believed Jen Talton who plays MiMi on the touring cast as being dry and her performance in ” Out Tonight” as off. I have to say it was a great performance by all cast members.

I am a bit sad that the Broadway show will be ending in June. This is a musical that many generations need to see. People need to see “Alphabet City” in NY was like before the glitz and glamour.

During the intermission I ventured to the ladies room, only to end up flat on my face in front of one to many people. My knee gave out and instead of tripping down the stairs I was airborne.
After the ushers helped me and filled out the incident report I made my way back to my seat.

The show was fantastic. Must see with this ALL STAR touring cast.

After the show we drove back to Worcester, knowing it was a good time for dinner being earlier in the evening we drove to Mezcal, I have been very much excited to try them since there opening, but to my surprise there was a 1 1/2 hour wait for a table at 5:40pm. So we got in the car and I called Bocado and there was no wait. We very much enjoyed our dinner and cocktails . I had to get dessert so we shared the White chocolate Raspberry bread pudding. YUMMMS

Hit up Mass Liquors before coming home and I scored a bottle of the Dogfish Head FORT beer. Boasting 18% alcohol and having the art of Tara McPherson on the cover how could i turn it down even at 15 dollars a bottle.

So here we sit, finding RENT playing on cable, Neil has not watched the movie, so as we play on the interwebs we have it in the background.

Why doesn’t Worcester have better public transportation?

Each day I am one more jerk on the road closer to selling my car and use that money for the bus and cabs to where I need to go.

When I lived in Denver there was one of the best Public transportation systems, and in Providence too. Providence was kick ass before the city blew up and became a place people wanted to be. Providence who goes back and forth with our city here for 2nd largest in New England, needs to step it up.

If I wasn’t cleaning houses now I would consider saying bye bye to my car I hold so dear, if I knew in the winter months I could rely on a great transportation system in the city I live.

I am one of the people that when I travel somewhere I take the public transportation, so I have done the likes of Toledo, OH, Tulsa, Ok, and Miami Beach. Not to mention places like Chicago and New York.

But looking over the schedules for the buses here, it is a sad sad state. I would be more than happy to get rid of my very cute Toyota Yaris and say hello to the Bus and Cabs in the winter and scooter in the summer. I miss that freedom that comes from not owning a car. I miss the extra income that I had to spend on other things instead of a car payment and my high insurance premium.

Worcester get a move on a better bus system and you will reap the rewards.

I am not sure what peoples ideas are of people that clean other peoples homes for a living.
But honestly I love to clean, I keep a very clean home (almost to the point of insanity) and I love to help people get organized so if anyone needs a housekeepers or other household services please let me know.

I had all these great ideas of the weekend of my birthday and with Friday occurring nothing happened.

See Neil and I bought some tuna from a local fish market, the kind that is true, where all the fish still have their heads. We made that a few nights ago, just pan seared on both sides like the norm.

Well Friday morning brought food poisoning. I was very much sick all of Friday, to the point I decided I was dehydrated and needed to seek medical attention. In the amount of pain I felt in every muscle in my body we went to the ER, to sit there for 3 hours and still have the same 5 people who came in right before us, still ahead of us. I have to say even though this may kick me in the butt some day. UMass Memorial needs to improve their ER. They need more doctors or RN’s on staff and they need to make more beds available. After three hours I didn’t care how bad I felt, or how my body was killing me from lack of hydration I left. Going home after not getting sick for 4 hours I went home and drank what I could, took a hot bath to help sooth my sore body and tried to relax. I had the worse night of sleep and yesterday left me no good for birthday celebration with Jill and Neil.

We had plans to go to Mezcal last night but I still by 4pm had not ate more than 5 slices of toast in 2 days and to head to a mid end restaurant and prepared to spend a far amount, I was not going feeling like this.

For my birthday Neil got tickets to see “Rent” in Providence on the 19th of this month. So we decided to do dinner that night to make up for this past evening. So last night we played some Scrabble and Jill came to visit. I was beat and headed to bed as soon as she left.

Today we headed to my folks for my birthday. My mom made homemade Mac and Cheese and Chocolate cake with pudding frosting from scratch and black forest cupcakes. YUMMMMM
This was the 1st real food I had ate since Thursday night, so it sat heavy but it was good.

Headed home and here I am… Tired and drained….Ready to play some more Scrabble…..

Back to school tomorrow after my 2 week break…….Finals week