I Heart Peanut Butter

So I was 25 when I started this blog, and I will be 28 in just 6 days.

Not 100% sure how I feel about it, but either way it is coming no matter what. Just two years away from 30 and I am sure that will be a hard one for me. I cried on my 25th because I felt I had the best years of my 20′s locked away in something bad for me. But now I have a great relationship with a man that has made me believe that there are people out there that will do anything for the one they love.

What do I want 28 to be?
* The best damn year I have had.

2007 -what a bittersweet year.
Here is my annual end of year reflection and overview of my life.
It is a shame that I am ending 2007 in not the best of places but I hope to make 2008 my year of change and happiness.

January 2007- We just settled into the home on Ludlow St. awaiting the closing, we really believed this was going to work out. We spent all of January painting and building and making it our home. A lot of money was spent but at the same time this was the beginning of 7 months of no rent/mortgage payment. I was getting restless at Scholastic and decided it was time to kick into to gear if I wanted something new. I was still working 2 jobs and loving the extra money in my pocket.
February 2007- This is the time frame I decided to quit my PT job in the near future in order to have more time to dedicate to my job search and house cleaning. Still awaiting the closing on Ludlow St.
March 2007- Seems March in my life is always a time of change. It was when I offically stopped working two jobs, Quit happily at Scholastic even though it went down in a way I didn’t like, what can you say when you have a crazy boss, I know we have all been there. I started working at Moving.com . I was happy about this move and thought Moving was going to be my long term happiness of work. It was a small office and everyone was pretty awesome. We still awaited the closing on the condo, just as a note, the closing waiting was never uneventful it was full of letters. emails and calls between lawyers, mortgage people and our realtor. By this point 3 1/2 months into the none closing factor we start getting irritated.
April 2007- seems like a good month, no craziness except no movement on the home closing date. Promised many days that the closing was around the corner, the seller was close to foreclosure which started to worry us a great deal.
May 2007- The month went by ok except at the end of the month my boss let me know I did not have enough contracts and he felt I was not the best match for the job. I am sorry Movers are assholes and they do not return contracts. I started April 1st needing 10 contracts a month, please tell me how with no pipeline are you supposed to get that many back from irresponsible moving companies. So here I was unemployed and all of a sudden scared to death about not having a job for when the closing finally arrived.
June 2007- what a friggen month…. Spent this month unemployed- SUCKS! At this time we received a letter stating that sale could not go thru on the condo due to no documents for condos and we must vacate in 48 hours. What the fuck were we suppose to do now? So we speak with our lawyers and agree that we would pay to stay until the end of the month, we then hightailed it back into the real estate market. We went back to University Park Lofts, because we loved the concrete floors and openness like no other loft in Worcester. We put in an offer, go back and forth and accepted offer moves towards closing. I am still nervous because of no job, so I an interviewing like crazy.
July 2007- We spend the first 2 1/2 weeks of July in my folks in law apartment in Putnam. I get a job at Acme Wholesale in Needham and Neil is all the way in Canton. We make these horrible drives for 3 weeks until we close. Acme Wholesale has to be the worst job I have ever had in my life. The boss is a crazy fuck with control issues and a complex. Within 3 weeks I hate the job and make it known to people I am not happy, but I needed a job for when we closed on the loft.
We close on the 22nd of July and move in. What a damn hot summer in no window fixture windows. The day we moved in it was 98 degrees inside our unit. The first two weeks of living there was filled with thunderstorms that were quite enjoyable to watch from our panoramic windows.
August 2007 – end of this month brings me making my boss hate me enough to let me go with the one last thought ” You are not happy here, so you can leave” I then said “thank you I will do so.” That place took my soul and I needed it back.
September 2007- being the nervous girl I am, I took the first position that came my way, not always the best bet I tell ya. I took a temp to perm position that did not become perm. YIKES.
October 2007- So yeah the job for me ended the week of Halloween. Damnit…..what a year with jobs. At this point I regret ever leaving Scholastic, especially since they let the evil witch go and then they made the jobs work from home. Talk about saving on gas…..
November 2007- I decide I can not take one more shitty sales job. You know the kind they tell you is Account Management and you end up calling out of the phone book for the 1st 6 months to build relationships. Or the kind were you need to talk sports with your customers for them to like you. I started collecting unemployment and doing my homework. The Career Centers have all the resources you need to find a good solid position. But I seriously have applied for some odd 80 jobs and nothing came of it. I was told on one of the interviews that I needed to sell myself better, maybe I just stopped caring. So I started the process to get myself into the Medical Industry as I have stated in the past wanting. I did everything in my power to get a grant towards school from the state and also to apply for Section 30 which makes it possible to go to a career based school and not have to look for work while collecting. Been tricky as I took a very PT position the last week of November to help supplement my income and the position was bunk. So I left after 3 days of not being trained and twiddling my thumbs. Now this may haunt me …..damnit
December 2007- With little income and 4 weeks completed in school so far I am ok. A tad stressed and a bit weighing more than I would like. The stress of the year made it very hard for me to worry about my physical health but that will all change.

So my thoughts on the year, Good Riddance.
I am so done with 2007 it is not even funny. I wouldn’t have made it thru without the best of friends my Neil. This year was a year of finding out who my real friends are and deciding that I do not need half the people I use to hold dear. Less bullshit that way and less aggravation when they keep letting you down.
My brother and his girlfriend are expecting their first child together and I am very much excited for that. My sister moved back from Florida which is nice that we are all around again.
The stress of this year makes wishing it a long goodbye even sweeter. I am in desperate need of a vacation as I sit here and watch the snow fall outside my big beautiful windows. I think we just hit a record for snowfall in December.

So here is to the end of 2007 and welcoming the 2008 year with all I have. This year will be better.

I am off from school until January 7th, I have plenty to do and keep me busy in the next week or two..

Christmas…..New Years……My Birthday….Appointments and Catching up with some friends….

Off to the Dive tonight for the Christmas Party…..Good Beer and some great music

I have an issue when you really do know what you are talking about and people don’t listen to you.

Ok my advice for my sister and I think it is sound advice especially since I have lived the last year, which was a very expensive last year and came out alive.

when someone has the chance to live rent free for at least a year, not have any bills…Why wouldn’t they take this time to say “hey I am going to live debt free and stock away every damn penny I can”

My advice for all you under 25 that want everything. GOOD LUCK….
It doesn’t work that way, everything takes work and I am one dedicated person, I work my ass off to get things done and it was still tough.

If I was 23 years old, with no rent, no utilities and no real bills. I would put everything but enough money for clothes and gas to get around away. Damn that would make my 1st year of home ownership much cheaper…
Also if i was going to buy a home by myself I would get a 2+ bedroom and get roommates. Why you ask? Because then i would have people helping me with my mortgage for the first couple years until it was a good time to refinance nd get a cheaper mortgage. Hell it is your home…Kick them out whenever you want but hell splitting a 1200 dollar mortgage is pretty sweet when you are building equity.
I also would keep whatever beater I was driving and stick with it. The people who retire early and live the good life are not the ones with a 300 dollar or more car payment.

Also I have had my readers write me for my opinion about whether or not they should buy now.
Both people just finished college and have never known what it is like to have all expenses on their plate. Here is a breakdown of what I have going out a month…I know personal but maybe it will help someone…

Mortgage – I pay 1/2 of a $1249.00 mortgage
This will be going up to $1420.00 (ouch) next summer when we need to pay our own condo fees, worked out having the condo fees paid the 1st year.
This amount cover the Mortgage, The PMI ( mortgage insurance because we did not put 20% down at closing, but it is now a tax credit), and our insurance.
Utilities-
Cell Phone – Total is 85.00 a month I average a 50.00 a month payment for 1/2 of the cell bill.
Gas- In the summer it is 8 dollars in the Winter it is about 125.00
Electricity – it reached 400.00 in August and it runs about 135.00 monthly when not blasting the AC.
We are lucky to have no water bill because that is included in the condo.
Other expenses….once it is your home you are responsible for anything and everything that occurs hence why a good savings is beneficial when buying a home. At least with a condo there is no lawn mower buying.

***** Advice section. Part of a good condo search would be the ones that include you heat, electricity and so on in the condo fees. The condo fees will run about 400-500 a month if that is the case but when you figure that My electricity has gotten as high as 400 in one month it can be nice to always have the same payment.

So that was household expenses…

Personal

Car payment I have a monthly payment of $298.00
( without that I would have almost an additional 36o0 in my savings each year, I have thought long and hard that I could do without this payment and sell my car. I love it more than life but the cost is one thing to think about)
Insurance- I pay a lot for insurance $381.00 a month . Hopefully Neil and I can find a way for him to insure my car and I will insure his.
Credit Card payments- funny thing is when you buy a home and need new furniture, washer dryer and whatever else it seems to go on credit. at this moment I am able to pay my minimum around 60 a month.
Other- Gas for my car, food bill, ect……. it is amazing the amount of money i put out each month. my next two unemployment checks are spoken for already sighhhh wait next three. I have one check a month to pay the extras.

I need to make over 50k again and no more stress…..

So my advice…
Stay Debt free as much as possible. Have as much as possible in a reserve for expectant problems….and don’t rush so much debt when you are under 25…You have the rest of your life to be in over your head in debt.

WORD

Been a very busy past couple of weeks.

School has me on my toes enough to stay busy. I have to say I really enjoy school, I would gladly go to school for the rest of my life. At a couple weeks shy of being 28 I truly believe it is a luxury that I am not going to let skate by.

So besides the insane weather we have had for the last week, not much else is up.
I received my welcome packet from the AAMA, American Association of Medical Assistants. As a student you are able to join for a lesser fee than the professionals yearly membership. I figure joining now is good so I can stay abreast of the world of a Medical Assistants. Plus it is always good to have a professional membership when applying for positions in the medical industry.

Hummmmmm not much else is going on, I will be on break for the next two weeks come Thursday, I don’t need to go back to school until the day after my birthday. HINT HINT January 6th is around the corner….Dinner at Mezcal and I would love to have drinks with people….hint hint

So as you may have read, my sister just moved back from Florida. And today I was able to help her go around Worcester and look for work. The good news is that hopefully in about a year she will be buying a home around here, if not in the building I am in.

This has reminded me much of the fact that I have not blogged about Real Estate in some time.

The truth is not much is going on.

I am angry that the government is going to dig people out of their own financial mistakes. I am angry that people who signed 200 papers the day they closed on their homes, are not being held to the same degree of responsibility that people who make sure that they can afford a home, and have read the terms of the mortgage are held.

Other than the credit crises nothing is selling. Kettlebrook looks no where close to completion for the 50 so odd closings they have scheduled next month. I wonder how many people will walk away. If you do come on down to University Park Lofts, the units are waiting for owners and I would enjoy some new neighbors. Just don’t buy unit 202 maybe I can get my sister into that one at some point.

Blackstone Lofts are now being sold by the same brokers that are selling the University Park Lofts and I hope that the Hill Team / Keller Williams can “getrdone”.

So hopefully when I am on break in a couple weeks I can really dig into the current state of the Worcester Real Estate market for my readers that expect.

It is the 7th of December already, can hardly believe it myself. Where has this year went, felt like we were moving into the other condo just yesterday. No, I am not going to get into my end of year reflection just yet, I will save that for a couple weeks.

Todays horoscope states;

“The line between yourself and others is widening right now, as you are entering a phase of solo introspection. This is something to embrace, not to be worried about. Even if your social life has not been extremely active lately, you will relish the discrepancy between what is going on in your own life and what is going on in the lives of other people around you. This is your chance to step back from the world and bow out of social obligations. Get used to greater freedoms.”

I thought this was my life already, I have always been into solo introspection, OK I am into myself. I am bitterly aware of my feelings and thoughts daily. But my life even seems so different from Neil’s as of late, I feel odd for not working and going to school. I will tell you “I love it”. I love school, I love learning for 6 hours a day, and I love to be able to dream about life next December. I hope that I will be working on my nursing degree by this time next year, to have a career and be marketable in something other then phone sales. I would be far to happy never to do sales full time again. It is not for me, I need to be active and have awhole lot of responsibility put on me. This is what I need to not be bored.

Right now financially I am taking a step back, it has been hard not having extra spending money and to even worry a bit about not having enough to pay bills. This year was hard because I only made about 30k which is far less than last year. I get my goofy ass up out of bed each morning excited for school and I assume that the people in my classes think I need a big healthy dose of of the closest drug.

But to be now less than a month from being 28 and having that privilege to go back to school full time, I will get as much out of it as I possibly can.

For once I see an end to the road of nowhere jobs. I unlike most people I go to school with have seen very healthy paychecks in my past. I made very good money the last few years and shut my mouth when they speak of jobs at 9-10 dollars an hour, I would not even take a part time job for less than that. Hell my last couple jobs were in the 17 an hour plus commission area. I know that I will not make that my 1st year as a medical assistant, but at least I am trained in something and my job will not be in jeopardy if I get under the amount of sales set.

So inner reflection is my middle name.

So long for now while I go and watch the snow fall…..

I liked what I wrote so here it is…

“Women are taught from early childhood that their worth is proportional to their attractiveness.”
In regards to this statement, I would agree that even as a child we are taught that we need to look and act a certain way. I grew up in a home with a mother who was always on a diet; she tried the cabbage diet, the grapefruit diet, the diet pill diet. When you are a child and your relationship with food is always punishing yourself for the occasional overindulgence, it makes it hard to think well of yourself when you eat that piece of chocolate cake at the holiday party.
With the way modern lifestyles are lead; young girls spend hours a day at sites such as www.stickfigure.com, which promotes the “PRO Ana & Mia” lifestyle. The young girls that in another time or place would not have an eating disorder now have an outlet and a way to be like other people. They log onto a site that has open forums for other 13-17 year old girls to go over diet plans and to vent when they have ate more then the restricted 400 calories a day plan.
I have had the same pressure and I feel for the girls that have to grow up today, where less time is spent on teaching them how to be happy with who they are. When the parents are far to busy to notice the pain a young girl feels when she is told she is fat. When I was young my mother was the typical Yo-Yo dieter I felt bad about myself. I was not petite as a child and would have done anything to be.
When I entered high school, I was a late bloomer and always slightly over weight. I kicked into starvation mode. I would journal each day my intake of fat and calories. I was happy on the days I could write only 2 cups of rice, ketchup and water. I would run 3 miles to the schools football field and take on the 45 steps of the bleachers up and down as many times as I could. The hunger felt good and by this point I could fit into my friends’ clothes.
This went on for sometime until a counselor at my youth ministries group contacted my mother to make sure I was doing ok. My mother was the type that if I lost five pounds I was losing to much weight and if I gained five pounds I was getting fat. She then put me in therapy.
As the years go on my relationship with food has done a complete 180, were I hide food and eat in secret because as a women you should eat small portions and look good for men. We are told day in and day out that a small waist and round butt is ideal. But when you work out you loss that round butt and when you don’t your waistline is not small enough. As women we should increase our bust, tighten our abs and keep faces youthful. The only way this is going to change is if women say enough is enough and learn to love themselves for all that they are. Even with those extra couple inches of belly and thick thighs. But as much as society inflects this upon us, we do it to ourselves. The saying we” love ourselves for who we are” is easier said then done. I would love to say that I can live with the extra weight I put on in the last year but I know people look at me thinking I am lazy or sloppy. I am neither, but I am a good eater, I have let myself enjoy food for once.
I think it is in us to always be that size 1 even if being so would kill us. Society needs to take a step back and reevaluate what is “beautiful”. We need to shop at stores that sell the size we are in and avoid the ones that cater to the idea that “perfect” exists. We should feel that we can tell people our weight, age and opinions without prosecution. If most men knew how much women weighed they would stop with the false expectations on what is ideal. But when you see stick figure women gracing the covers of magazines you question where life went wrong with you. When America Fierra is considered a “big” woman and she is only a size 6/8. She has curves but she is still below the average women in the United States. The average woman in America is a size 14, which I think can be healthy and active. We are not all predisposed to be a size 4.
So yes, I deal with this pressure to look a certain way; I have the big blue eyes, good hair and big lips. Most men would say if my body was 50 lbs lighter I would be ok by them. I have had to relate with other nationalities because it was never ok to be white and have a big butt. Only in the last 5-8 years have Caucasian men started liking big strong thighs, big butts and not so tiny waist. Now if only I could start believing it too.