The last day of work before summer leave is always bittersweet, we as people are so tied to our jobs that when you do not need to wake up and you really have no place you have to be it makes you think. By the end of my summer leave I usually have my days so jammed pack with fun, travel, house work and errands that I sit and wonder how I do it all when I am working. It is nice because it is a break where I can go , not work and still have money coming in. Not to shabby.
This morning on the way to work I was listening to some of last summers ” In the car jams” , all the music I would kill my hearing with and sing at the top o fmy lungs while heading out on a summer night adventure. Weird my life is a complete 180 from where it was last year at this time. I have a much more stable existence and it feels kinda nice. But this summer there will be no crashing at someone’s house after a night of dancing, drinking and goodtimes. I have my somewhat DD for the summer- Neil !!!!! But I have memories of last summer going thro my head and wonder if this summer will even compete, I think it may be better as last summer was a lot of confusion from boys and Crystal being the “PLAYA”. But it was a time in my life and much needed in order to be where I am now.
Last year Crystal learned who she was , what she wanted and what she would take and not take in future relationships. I am happy I had that time.
But summer has always done something to me. All the good memories in my life have occurred for the most part in the warm summer months, does that mean when I move to Phoenix I will always have good memories…
Flashbacks of years I have lived…Yesterday I had a voicemail from James and Riz had called me, both knowing I am going out on summer leave, wishing they were me and asking ” WHEN ARE WE GETTING TOGETHER” . Seems Riz just broke up with his girlfriend, may have been for the better another situation where one of them wants marriage and the other is no way ready. But some point in his life he will find a girl that wants exactly what he wants when he wants it and then it will work. He has a kind heart he just has to stop playing around so much. But then again he isn’t even 30 yet…. So all last summers crazy times of doing things I know better then to do and of using people as they would have used me, finally put me in the place where I need to be.
This place being ” No one will ever walk all over me again and my # 1 priority is ME”
This has helped me to be ok when Neil came into my life because until then I wasn’t having it, no relationship ( because to me that was settling) and I just wasn’t ready until about the time we meet for someone FULL TIME in my life. Now I wouldn’t give it up for the world. It is nice to be with someone you mesh with, that you jive with and you can just be yourself with. Finally
So here I start another summer excursion full of Beach reads, sand in my toes, loud music, humidity, hiking, camping, kayaking, island visiting, day trips, crafts, time with friends and family and my love.
I wish myself luck to not spend to much money and to achieve the personal fitness ( wow that sounds ghey to say) goals I have set for myself. 15 pounds lost by August 15th.