I Heart Peanut Butter

Good Bye to 2005

Since I was little I have loved New Years, it was a time of reflection, time of change and a time to move on with a clean slate. At this point I am almost 100% clean slated, I have caught up on all my bills, reinstated a healthy diet and still working out even if in the winter months it is down to three times a week and not six.
This has not been an easy year by any means, but I look at me last year at this point and I know I have come so far. Personally I like who I am once more, my self esteem has been boosted and I am happy.
I wrote my thirteen list yesterday hoping to keep it all positive. But there was changes that made life hard for me this year as well as great. But being the optimist I am I will stay positive.
New Years last year was filled with friends over having a great time, in the tail end of a relationship that wasn’t going anywhere and uncertainty as to what this year was going to bring.

In the end it gave me my life back, does anyone know how hard it is to get out of something you thought you never would. I felt relief and free for the 1st time in many years and it was amazing.
I allowed myself to meet new people, date a whole bunch ( to the point even my guy friends were like Crystal slow down) reconnect with old friends and just live once more.

I believe in living everyday as to not having any regrets, I live for the moment and I have stopped from planning everyday in my life. I think I am fairly spontaneous most of the time. I am up for anything at any time, except after I take a Ambien and start to fade into sleepy land and friends call for me to go out with them..

I am very much looking forward to this coming year, I think it will in whole be one of my better ones…Already starting it off well.

Being 26 will not be so bad, cause life sure is starting to make a whole lot more sense.

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Thirteen Things I have Occurred this Year Ms. Crystal

1…. I started a new wonderful life for myself all over again

2…. I meet and made many new friends, some great and some even more fantastic

3…. I bought my first Brand New car, how great it was to drive that off the lot.

4…. I reconnected with family that I have not seen in many years, like my cousin Billy

5…. This did take the death of my grandmother back in January, but at least it is now and not later

6…. I realized that my father is a jerk and has always been that way and I as an adult do not need to put myself insituation.Those learning that I need to care about me at the same time getting out of a very unhealthy relationship .

7…. Meet some people that made me see who I really am and know I am worthy of someone great in my life

8…. Also meet that someone great, he is kind, sweet and honest. Very much anal like myself so helps with seeing the same way.

9…. With my job having summers off I was able to be somewhat creative and explore new things I would be interested in. Created more and enjoyed even more.

10…. Finally bought a new camera. A digital one at that, Give my pentax a break I suppose

11…. Overall I can say this year taught me a great deal about myself, my reactions to things and what in life I am willing to deal with and not deal with,making for overall a great wonderful and exciting year.

12…. Reconnected with my mom this year, more time together and less time bickering, we now have a true friendship verus Mother/daughter relationship which at times can be strained

13. what is new overall is my life is normal, for once, same job for all 12 months, same consistant life.Feels fantabulis

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What a day , 3pm and I am at work and bored to death. Came to the point where Myself, Mandy, Francine and David were all drawing, painting and setting up the new display for the hallways at work.
Not much is new and exciting. It is Wednesday and I am slighty tired. I know I need to drag my butt to the gym tonight but I think I am to tired. I would get to bed early tonight and make it in the morning ( I have been saying that since September). Once summer comes and I am off work for 6 weeks I will then be working out every morning once more and more then happy to do so.

I have been contemplating taking this Blog down and starting a new one only because there are to many eyes on this one and a few of them I care not to know what is going on in my life. It is lovely that you can so keep tabs on people, ghost of the past when there is the internet. I would like to take everything I have online, cancel it and then start over with a name not my own. I trust very few people and would rather stay aynonmous.

Looking forward to the weekend, I am sure Neil and I will have a super NYE and long weekend. Sunday it is suppose to be in the 50′s and decent outside, so I am thinking of a place there would be no left over snow to venture off for the day. I suppose it depends on how much we drink on NYE, I am thinking since it will be an event filled evening I may not be drinking that much. But then again that is what I said last NYE.

The following weekend is my Bday and we are doing something, well Neil has an idea..I just pack up some clothes and go with the flow…I have a feeling this will be the best birthday in a long time and I can’t wait. As long as the snow stays away ( cause I remember more then one Birthday ruined by mass amounts of snow fall) we should be ok.

Not much else is new in the world of Crystal, except I really , really want to move. The cold weather is for the birds, wait they don’t even like it.

Been looking into warm weather areas for future moving and I think Arizona works the best. Location, cost of living and jobs in the Phoenix area seem to work for me. Would love to be able to afford a house and that will not happen in this state. Also seeing where else I can transfer for work. But I hope this will be my last or at least next to last Winter in this state…..

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Well as I sit at my desk in my very quiet office, listening to WBUR. Oh yeah ON POINT is still on. I never get to listen to On Point during the day. Only if I am lucky enough to catch it at 7pm or listen to it while I am typing away on my computer.
They are talking about segregation in the eductation system, hum I could tell them that I am doing research for work, right?
This is my every day challenges at work in my Springfield and Holyoke schools, they are now neighborhood schools meaning all the poor students are in one school and ones from more affluent backgrounds are together and not getting the same education.
Because On Point is aired from Boston they are talking about the Suffolk county schools, with schools in Dorchester and Mattapan. It is hard to think that students are just not given the chance to excel, but what can you do but expect our public schools to stick to higher standards. Pay the teachers more for one of the most important jobs out there, teaching tomorrows leaders.
With No Child Left Behind, my schools failing there state MCAS testing have now been taken over by the state, the state is now regulating the teaching these students get. They are preparing these students for Testing and not teaching them. In 1998 graduating high school students on average were reading at an 8th grade level, guess what year I was out of high school?
So it comes down to the schools making sure that teachers are treating all there students with the same respect, not judging on race or sex and also making sure that students are working to there full potential. If a student does not read for enjoyment by 8th grade they will not become readers, we need to make sure we get our students interested in learning at an early age.
For the amount of money that this country puts out to support a war, why is it not possible to put more money into educating these children.
This brings up half the reason I never want children, the education system was only recently changed in the last 5 years with NCLB before that the standards of education in this country has not been changed since the late 60′s. In my opinion something has to give, at some point we as tax payers and voters need to decide were the money needs to go. Why do people want there students to attend the local public school that they went to, when the school could loss its ability to hirer there own teachers and turn the school into test preparation instead of a place for children to learn and explore. The mass opening of Charter, Montessori schools and other private schools at least give parents the choice if they want to send there children elsewhere, but why must that make that decision.
Also with failing schools in NCLB standards, students are allowed to transfer schools to go to a none failing school. So how is an inner city student going to get to a Suburb passing school. Walk?
I think that there needs to be content changes to the education system in the next few years and still make it so children can still be kids.

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So here I am on Monday night, having to go back to the office tomorrow, so not looking forward to it…Just looked up a pic of Figgy pudding because I am sure I have never had it and by the looks of it, I am glad I have not.
My house is silent right now not use to that.You know when you get use to someone around and then they are not there anymore.
Well Neil just had to go home, it was a wonderful weekend, as it always is. Amazing how well you can get along with someone, how easy you can just have it. Can two people truly get along with no issues. Sometimes I wonder, it is great though did mention to him that I sometimes feel like I need to hold my breath,wait for something to happen, but I honestly do not think anything will. Been along time since I have been happy. A long time since I didn’t have any reason to worry about anything. Wait I have never been in a situation where I did not have to worry about anything.
Anyways it was a wonderful Christmas, small, uneventful for the most part and just nice.
Neil made his way my way on Friday night then Saturday we had some running to do.The funniest thing we did was decide that it was a grand time to go Grocery shopping. The lines were being Q’d off and they were wrapped around to the frozen/milk section of the grocery store…Made for a very interesting shopping trip, I decided to be a complete jackass in the store, singing and dancing and got more then a handful of people to smile. Hummmmm maybe they just thought I was completely out of my mind..Either way it was fun, I think Neil mentioned that I grabbed my boobs in the store also…Hum Not sure about that.
Saturday went by quickly and we headed to my folks house. Good Spirits and company it was a pleasure. Stopped by the LaFleurs to say Merry Christmas and to have a drink…Headed home to relax and just be…
Sunday being Christmas we both had previous engagements so we at least got to spend the morning together and have breakfast. Then we both ventured off to out folks house for the afternoon. I ate and was merry with my folks, grandparents and uncle..We ate, drank and chatted all being good conversation…From the environment to Childlessness…
Headed home so Neil would meet me once more..It was an early evening but RELAXING..
As follows today was Monday…Monday was a day of Mall Shopping, Best Buy hunting for a movie and then home to relax…Watched a movie and just enjoyed each others company….
Seems a lot was said this weekend and chatted between the two of us that makes me happy. Makes me extremely happy to have him in my life. He is an amazing guy.
Well Singing off for the evening and going to read……

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13 Reasons I love Christmas By Ms.Crystal 1…. I love the smell of my moms house, the smell of the breads baking and the tree and everything that reminds me of childhood 2…. I love the time I get to spend with my family, I love spending time chatting and going over Christmas memories of the past. 3…. I love the fact that I get a long weekend from work, to visit and see people I never get too 4….I love Christmas songs. I know them all and sing them all at some point. 5….I love giving gifts, even if this year I am not doing so.. 6…. I love that my grandfather sings Silent Night in his very deep voice every Christmas while making sauce’ 7….I love the ragu’or sauce’ It is a French gravy dish that has been made in my family for generations. 8…. I love this year that I have someone cute and sweet to spend the holidays with. 9…. I love sending and receiving Christmas cards and I do keep them forever. 10…. I love the silence if the streets Christmas day and I love that we will most likely have some snow this Christmas. There is something so calming of the quietness of the world when stores are closed and people are at home with their families. Links to other Thursday Thirteens!1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

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Well today was Tuesday, Tuesday being the day Scholastic says we have a party. The food was good and so on, but no booze kinda makes it no fun…..
As I sit here with a clay mask hardening to my face , to the point I can’t close my eyes to blink…I think about today’s events….
Well that is a lye, I am now at work on Wednesday and finishing this, seems that I got to tired to think last night. I needed to get off the computer and sink into a book because it has been awhile since I have sat on my comfy couch and just read, damn computer, almost contemplated getting rid of the damn thing only because I no longer spend hours reading I sit on my damn computer and listen to NPR. Sure I am still getting something out of it but shit…Nothing better then getting into a book that I can’t put down.
Anyway, The party yesterday…So we all went to Indian Meadows in Northboro and sat and started by playing some games and then the Yankee swap..The food was ok even though I shouldn’t have ate it at all and I will count that as my weeks flex points…gurr
Ann my field rep got me a nice bottle of wine which I am sure I will be enjoying this weekend, maybe tonight…
But the whole thing was over in less then 3 hours so I headed home and went to the gym before the 5 o’clock crowd showed up. Oh yes….
Was a pretty chill night last night not much happened…
Just want the work day to be done today but have a feeling that it will take some time because I have already forgot my password for the system log in , we changed them yesterday…What an idiot…
Tonight my boy comes over and that I do look forward too..

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So this weekend was simply marvelous.
To pick up from were I left off on Saturday, it was relaxing day .We bummed around town and went to eat and such no big thing on Saturday. Decided that it was to crazy out to be out and about with all the crazy people the weekend before Christmas.
Feels super weird to not be shopping and such for Christmas this year, I just can’t afford it and if I want to get caught up and ahead in the next couple months I need to focus on things like credit card bills and not present. Both Neil and I are boycotting Christmas present giving and I think we both feel that it is kind of a relief that we can just spend time with out families and not have to worry about the superficial gift giving. I love to do for others and I love to shop but this year I can’t do it.
Saturday night was to make dinner but instead we decided we were both in the mood for Picadilly’s and decided to go get food out. Simply relaxing Saturday, I think that is what I need to relax more and not stress myself over being on the go all the time.

Since we crashed sort of early on Saturday night we got up early Sunday to go on the new weekend tradition of “picture taking Sunday”. Which in my opinion is one great activity..We have a ball doing it and it is soooo fun..
You can check out some of my pics on my Buzznet page.
We ventured down to Connecticut, stopped by my moms and she was at my grandparents. So I showed Neil were my grandparents lived and we visited for a bit.
Then jumped in the car and headed to Pomfret and went to the Vanilla Bean for lunch we both got the Chili and I have to say it was some of the best chili I have ever had.
Rode around showed him the areas that in which I grew up, always an adventure going back to childhood.
Then wanted to take pics downtown and to get something warm in our hands and stomach, headed to the cafe that I wish was around when I was growing up . The Victoria Station, the owner Dave is a great guy and enjoy catching up with him when ever I am in town. He is trying to get the town to welcome a local artist showing in the town about once a month, he moved the location to the buildings hallway to not have to deal with permits and such on a monthly bases, smart man.
We meet a professor there, he teaches English at Uconn and he was extremely open minded about education and where a person should be at a certain point in there life. Was enjoyable chatting with him for a short time.
finished our drinks and headed out to see what trouble we could find.
I chickened out, seems I still have a fear of heights and it was evident yesterday when I was trying to cross the railroad bridge, I have an issue when I can see under me and see cars driving and when the gap between beams is almost as big as my feet….Oh well I suppose I have to fear something, right?
finished our picture taken at an old warehouse that houses nothing but palates and outside there is old war fighter jets and such. I figured what is a Sunday if you do not attempt at getting shot at, see the thing was there was like 30 posted no trespassers signs, but seriously photo ops like this do not come around all the time.
After our adventures in the warehouse we stopped by my mom and visited with her for a bit , she is alone right now because my stepfather went to Vegas with his cousin and uncle for the week. Headed back to the house and just relaxed. Ate a simple dinner of rice and corn. We both uploaded our pics from the weekend and such. Then played a mean game of Trivial Pursuit 90′s edition. Questioning how he knew some of the answers, I figured he was 15 in the beginning of the 90′s and I was 10….Sooooo
That was the weekend……Wonderful like always…..Pictures to come later on..

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I figure I have some time to write because the apartment fire alarm just went off and I had to call the Fire Department, luckily my building is not on fire…Oh yes…
I know I have been meaning to get renter’s insurance, I think it is one of those things I think about once and then forget oh well..I will just loss everything if the house goes down in flames.
Truthfully I put a whole lot of trust in my neighbors not to set the house on fire, don’t I.

So during that time it was going off, oh so very loud.
I woke up got dressed and went and cleaned the ICE off my car, looks like it snowed a bit now is shear ice, the precipitation that is coming down is freezing rain and causing a even thicker ice mass on the ground. It is early but I should get up now anyways because I have a feeling the roads and commute is going to blow today.

The air outside smells like a giant Triscuit because Wheatabix is down the street and all you smell is the wonderful aroma of wheat…I guess it is far better then the smell of rotting flesh …I would suppose soo…

Anyways off to start my day….

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1. I am 25 years old will be 26 in a couple weeks and I am having a panic attack
2. I have moved over 30 times in my life
3. I have lived in 10 states
4. I love Colorado the most
5. I hiked 39 of the 14er’s in Colorado
6. I did Americorps for two years
7. I lived in tents, National Guard Armories and such in Americorps
8. I have a nail biting habit
9. I live alone and prefer it that way
10. I am lactose intolerant
11. But I love Ice cream
12. My best friend is my mother even if she drives me nuts
13. I know her driving me nuts is just her way of caring
14. I was voted Most Talkative and Original in my high school yearbook
15. Both these things still hold true today
16. I have no real siblings but I do have 3 step brothers and a stepsister
17. Both my parents are on their 3rd marriage
18. I have not watched TV in 7 years
19. I blame that on ADD or the fact that it just is that boring
20. I was born in Fayetteville NC
21. But I only lived there 1 year
22. I have something like 25 jobs in my short life, oh to many times when I was young ( like I am not still young) I would quit just because
23. I have been on my own since I was 16
24. I lived in a house with 12 other people when I was 17
25. I now have a wonderful life
26. At one point had 15 piercings..
27. Took them all out cause I had to grow up
28. I live in Clinton, MA
29. I am not sure why I live in a town with only 9k people
30. I am a bonafide City gal stuck in a small town
31. I lived in Denver for 5 years
32. Greeley Colorado for 1 year
33. Couldn’t deal with the Man, the manure or the Meat processing plant
34. I was a suto Step mom for 5 years
35. This is half the reason I do not want kids
36. The other is population control
37. The 3rd reason is I am to much a free spirit to deal with raising a child
38. But I love kids…just not for me
39. I love quotes
40. I have a collection of about 4000 quotes that I love
41. I tend to quote “quotes” in everyday life
42. I am an NPR Junkie
43. I am in love with Tom Ashbrook the reporter for On Point on WBUR
44. I give 320 dollars a year to NPR during pledge drives
45. I love to go antiqueing and to Flea markets
46. I am a Craft fair queen
47. I love to support other peoples talents even though I know I could make some things myself
48. I am a crafter
49. I have taken a small break from crafting
50. I love to sew, needlepoint, paint, draw
51. I took a glass blowing class in the spring
52. I have not blown any pieces since
53. I was accepted to about 9 art schools and couldn’t afford any
54. I have wanted to be a fashion designer since I was 6
55. I use to make all my dolls clothes as a child
56. I love Classic movies
57. I love the pureness of the movies made in the 40’s,50’s and 60’s
58. I wish I was Audrey Hepburn
59. I have spent about 6 months time in Mexico City
60. I was certified to teach English as a second language
61. I have spent 8 months in Mexico all together
62. I am in love with Spanish culture
63. I have traveled Mexico, Central and a couple spots in South America
64. I want to live in Mexico at some point in my life
65. I have already researched what I need to do to get my FM3 Visa
66. I have not been to Europe
67. I have only spoken to my father for 3 years of my life
68. I realized that I do not need him in my life
69. My whole idea of men was warped because of him
70. I love my stepfather as if he was my father
71. I have worn glasses since 2nd grade
72. I have never worn contacts cause they bother my eyes
73. My drink is Gin and Tonics
74. I love micro brews for the taste not to get drunk
75. I love to cook
76. I heard I am pretty good at it too
77. I love to host parties, dinner anything were I get to have a lot of people over and entertain
78. I grew up in a very much blue collar family
79. I like to live as if I am well cultured
80. I have lived in the Arm Pit of the US – Newark NJ
81. I got the chicken pox when I was 17
82. I was very sick
83. I got my Wisdom teeth pulled out at 24
84. I was a late bloomer in everything in my life
85. I love to clean
86. I love to make my house seem like no one lives here..
87. then sometimes I wish I could just have a home that looks like there is life in it
88. My house is furnished with IKEA…
89. I love Ikea more then any other store
90. I have had short hair for 10 years, at some point I will let it grow
91. I fear nothing except falling in love
92. Once I am in Love I am at my greatest
93. I am a giver and love to take care of the people in my life
94. My best friend is having a baby
95. She is not the 1st but she is the one I am still in shock over
96. And she is due January 12th
97. I don’t like sports
98. I hate the Red Sox- Hum can you live in Mass and hate them..Sure I do
99. I am not religious
100. I am sure I could think of 100 more things

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Thirteen Things about Ms. Crystal1…. I am boycotting Christmas gift giving this year, I am far to broke to per-take in the festives, I am going to use the time to see my family.
2…. I have recently meet a great guy that makes me super happy.
3…. I am highly allergic to Cats and Dogs !
4…. I am a total B-Rated and Foreign Films Junky
5…. I do not like to have anything alive in my home, I kill most things except grown people.
6…. I never want children and I am sick and tired of people telling me I will change my mind. Kids are way overrated
7…. I have moved 30 something times in my life, the house I live in now is the longest I have lived somewhere in many years
8…. I miss Colorado the most, it was simply amazing and the winters were not that bad.
9…. I have a Strawberry Shortcake Blanket from when I was 3 that I still will use on my couch curled up.
10….I hate winter yet here I am in New England, not for long I can feel it..
11…. I work with 35 women, no men, makes for fun times with Baby and Bridal Showers.
12…. I was born in Fayetteville NC, and not my dad was not in the military.
13…. I am not very good at list, this was pretty hard for me to come up with…

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The beginning of my day yesterday was fantastical..Then came the end of my day.

So I called Sprint yesterday to get my new company discount, a whopping 8% savings a week,so for me it is about 12 dollars a month. Hey every little bit helps, Also found others ways to save and ended up saving about 35 dollars a month on my 140$ a month bill. Not so bad, but they screwed up my account so badly, they expired my primary phone number and such. So I didn’t have a working cell phone until this am. Gurrr that is why I never make changes. Because any change I have ever made on my cell screws something up.
But last night was productive, I finished my work holiday cards, did about 40 cards for the people in my office and sent out 13 or so cards for family and a few friends that I will not see.
I feel bad that presents are not that affordable this year, but I need to get my shit back on track and stop spending money like it grew on a tree. Cause I do not make as much as I use to but still spend money like I do.

Today is Thursday almost the end of the week and since I won 4 hours of time off beyond my PTO then I may take a couple hours tomorrow and see about getting some hairs cut.
Today has already been a day of contemplating, a lot of things, I tend to overthink and over do things when everything is going well almost like I am waiting for something to happen.
I seriously need to just be content and happy that things are going so well right now. Not use to this and after a chat with a good friend she mentioned that some recent additions and changes in my life may be good for me. Which I have to agree no matter how stubborn I am.
Have not been to happy with the quality of my blogs at this point only because I more or less seem to run over the days activities instead of chatting about feelings, emotions and so on. Seems I only have those strong feelings in my life when something is wrong and not when everything is going well.
So been chatting with everyone I know because I seem to be the most flighty in the sense that I am a free spirit and sometimes have trouble holding on to good in my life, tend to rock the boat for my own life and somehow I think that isn’t healthy.
Looking forward to the weekend but in order to get there I must make it through tomorrow which will be cold , icy and 3-6 inches of snow in the central mass area.

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Not much going on, sitting at work and cold as hell in my office.
Today is the 8th day of the sales contest and I am running out of leads….Ahhhh
Been a good past month or so I have to say, Last night was great Neil came over shortly after work and the great guy he is ran to the grocery store for a few things to make dinner with.
Made a yummy Saffron-Garlic Chicken,asparagus and salad. Being back on WW is great because am certain of what is being put in mouth.
Then we relaxed, looked on EBay ( which is still a foreign website to me, not sure why but never jumped ont he EBay train) .
This morning is was a very cold morning, took my car like 20 minutes to warm up enough were I could see outside my window. Talking about the wheels, my drivers side mirror stopped working so I need to bring it to Saturn on Saturday AM, no reason a 6 month old car needs to be messing up already, maybe I use my mirrors to much and I am always changing the view..I broke it already…
Not much else is new looking forward to the weekend, I think Neil and I will be going on a picture taking expedition, always fun and play some trivial Pursuit and dominoes…What total geeks are we.
Tomorrow night is the Steamy Bohemians show at Ralph’s, I am sure I will go just to have something to do and maybe see some friends I have not seen in awhile.

Steamy Bohemians Website

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