I Heart Peanut Butter

What are the implications of having a very public life? Especially when people in your life are private people, do I say or do things that jeopardize my relations with others. I always believed that my blog is pretty PG, safe for the masses and those involved in my life. I know over the years I have voiced my opinion very much so on things only to insert foot in mouth shortly after. I am not a perfect person and I always tend to say exactly what I am thinking at any particular moment in time. I can say that I have upset people but that is never my intention. My intention is to create this timeline of my life, as a person who does not want children I know I will need my own daily reminder in old age to what my life was like because I may just lack the people to tell my “story” to. The memories and stories are all we have. We are only what people remember about us and within a couple generations no one really remembers anything about us or who we were to those that mattered.  I use this blog as my years of journals to remind myself where I started and also to realize that even the 15 year old who religiously wrote daily is not that far off from the 30 year old who maybe understands life much less than I did then.  Life gets complicated and when it does I look back at where I have been and try my hardest to not repeat. I almost like this Crystal, this is when I get introspective, this is the Crystal who feels and sometimes it is great to remember that I am human and not some being absent of all emotion. I have so many things to be thankful in my life for right now, the times of feeling bad for myself went away last year and I live each day just happy and maybe in some form of the word blessed. But I don’t think I will ever stop putting my public self out there, the years of blogging has opened communication with so many people, I have been able to meet some amazing individuals here in Worcester through this avenue. I feel safe with words-written, the ones that are said never feel as safe to me.

So really how much is too much to deluge in a public forum?

Next week my blog will be 5 years old. Happy Blogoversary and 1031 blog post

Crazy to look over all my post from the last 5 years and see how I have grown as a writer, a presenter of my ideas and just grown as a person. The development of patience has come on strong in the last couple years.  I have always used my blog as more of a “memory” tool for me, I have been a journal writer since I was about 8 and this was an extension but on a much more PG scale. But I am happy to say my blog has armed and motivated others on occasion since I started it. I went through a 4 year relationship, a house purchase that would have never been, a condo purchase that should have NEVER been, school and a HUGE change in my life in the last year.

Here’s to another 5 years…

For every bit of aggravation in my life there is 10 times more joy, yeah I am friggen Hallmark card…

A lot has happened in the last week and I can only imagine that part of it will be written.

Lets first start off with the fact that I will soon be GAINFULLY employed.  Last week I had three job offers, three AMAZING job offers. With pay and benefits I didn’t think would exist for me this soon after graduation. I am finally going to a salary position and not hourly, with a job that will not demand my whole life, doing EXACTLY what I want to be doing. So I get to check off the “Find a Great Job in my field” box on the 2010 Goals I set back in December. I had a very hard decision last week as to what job I would take, the pay came in about the same on all three, so it came down to logistics. I may end up with a Coulda-Shoulda-Woulda but I do believe I went with the best option for me. I can’t explain just how happy I am that I will be working again and for DAMN good money.

Lets see there is a pretty nifty guy in my life right now, he makes me smile a lot and all my friends love him (well the many who have meet him already) We have spent quite a bit of time together and it is really nice. Again my ability to jinx my own life on a regular bases is keeping this low key for now, but this situation has me pretty happy too.

Speaking of which it was GAME NIGHT on Friday and we held the night at Paul’s, so I spent the day over his place cleaning up and going shopping to prepare. Made a trip down to Putnam to see the mammadukes and get my bounty of fresh veggies from the garden. We made food, everyone brought some food and drinks.  My vegan friendly stuffed mushrooms and crab and vegan rangoons where a hit.. We had so much food and lots of drink it was a great night with great friends.

Saturday we crawled out of bed after 10 and got ready to get out of town for the day, the goal was to get to Maine but the traffic was crazy. So instead headed to Portsmouth to drink good beer, do some shopping and try/buy some AMAZING balsamic’s we got a Summer Peach and a Blueberry. It is really fun spending time with someone who enjoys amazing food too.  Followed by us trying to go to Red Hook for there to be a huge festival so we couldn’t even get into the brewery. So headed south a bit to Salisbury Beach, with a blanket, food and cocktails and chilled on the beach for awhile watching the moon in all its glory. To end the evening before some shitty rain appeared we played some games at the arcade and retreated back to Worcester.

Sunday was another low-key day, spent many hours sleeping to try to catch up on the hours of non-sleep I have been getting. Paul and I did some bumming around, shopped a bit and then got ready for what turned into another amazing friend filled night. The original plan was for us all to go to the drive-in, but with bad pairing Kelly decided a cook-out would be a good time. Well Paul had the great idea to bring the projector and with a laptop and a white sheet we had tons of food, 13 people and watched Zombie Land while getting bit by mosquitoes. Outdoor movie night on Kelly’s patio is a pretty awesome night.

The more and more I am involved with people here in Worcester the happier I am, I have a great group of welcoming and intelligent friends who make me love where I am in life even more. Everything is falling into place right now and as I stated back in December 2010 will be my best year ever, with a small hiccup in the middle. I don’t believe I have been as happy in my life as I am currently and that is a pretty big thing.

Next: Get a Car……..the search continues.

About two sentences…

Twitter Keeps Pulse of City

If only I was not such a technology/social media whore…

Telegram Article Today

I am ignoring the comments…

Seriously this once a week blog post is getting old. Another great past week and past weekend, to the point I am beyond exhausted and really need a good sleep tonight. I can’t wait to be back to work because at least the structure will be good for me once more, I believe I will know for sure what or where I will be working this week, but then again I have an interview at Newton-Wellesley Hospital tomorrow for what could also be a great position.

I spent most of the weekend with a new guy, who seems pretty chill but not gonna jinx anything at this point. Good times had. Friday was a rough day as little sleep and a fun night on the town on Thursday made me only better than useless. Saturday I volunteered at the WARL  (Worcester Animal Rescue Leagues) Art for Animals Craft Fair, I worked the Raffle Tent, thanks to Cheryl’s hard work there were many great raffled items. It was such a hot day in the mid- 90′s and humid with an occasional breeze but was a great day overall.

Saturday night headed to Providence for Water Fire and drinks.. Meet a dog named Gary who seems to like girls a lot and he bit my butt. This again LATE night (or very early morning 5am bed times have been occuring TOO much as of late) led to another groggy morning but followed by lunch @ Corner Grille (god I love this place) they honestly have the best pizza in the city. Yesterday was the “Dr. Gonzos Second Annual Summer Sausage Slamfest” I don’t eat it but I really go to support my friends and have a good time, listen to some music and drink some fancy cocktails. We took a short break from the heat and went to the Abbey for a bit to have a drink and cool off. Overly tired and hot decided it would be a movie night, but 30 minutes into a pretty bad movie it was time for bed…

It is Monday, I was offered a position with a company that could be amazing, still making my decision as I have many options floating around right now but I feel it could be a good career path. Thinking I may need a nap after all the weekend excitement.

If there is any luck in the world it never does find me…

So quickly last Wednesday I was involved in an accident in the Washington Sq Rotary with an Ambulance.  I was already in the rotary and a car pulled out in front of me, which took my attention away from any traffic entering the rotary. Well one of them was an ambulance who stated his lights and sirens were on, but I never heard the sirens. He also stated he looked and did not see me. My car was totaled and ended up in the middle of the Washington Sq Rotary.  This couldn’t happen at a worst possible time as I am “between jobs” right now and no one is going to give me a car loan.  So in the grand scheme of things I am okay minus a car but between my great friends, the train and buses, my legs and bike I will do fine getting where I need to be until I am working again or I can buy a cheap car to get me to a new car.

I am looking at a used MINI, Jeep or Subaru for my next car, but again if I end up with a job in downtown Boston, I will be taking the train to work everyday.

This habit of writing once a week needs to end. For being slightly ”poor” while unemployed I am still enjoying my summer for the most part. Last week I have my 3rd interview for the dream job and I do very much hope it works out. I spent a day at the beach with Mandy, enjoyed the Farmer’s Market to learn that a new pizza place just opened near Clark called FLATS, which is an organic pizza joint with insane hours on the weekend nights, 3am pizza here I come.

Thursday was an evening of The Dive, The Lucky Dog and Nick’s  and Friday night was night one of the Summer Nationals and fireworks but having apps and drinks at Brew City and then over to the Dive was much more entertaining. Not much to do on Saturday during the day was time for me to clean up the house, get lunch at The Perfect Game and then head to Sarah’s to visit for a bit before heading over to the Lucky Dog for another night of Flock.

Saturday night was a good time and also a giant shit show. Which ended in me not sleeping at all until 11:30 last night, a night in which sitting outside until the sun was ready to come up, 5:30am Princess Bride in HD (Ugg no good in HD) and not joining the rest of the world until 2pm to only go get pizza at Corner Grill followed by me catching up with Robyn to see Eclipse and then grab food at The Flying Rhino. So all in all Saturday into Sunday turned into a pretty killer night.

Today I think I need to cave and go buy an AC, this 90+ degree temp is NOT cool, followed by afternoon at Brad’s and maybe just maybe I will take the offer for a Sailing Expedition in Boston at dusk….

Hope everyones 4th was safe and fun.

Been another crazy last week or so…

So last Monday I went to Provincetown with my friend Jenn A. We stayed with her friend Daniel who is an amazing spirited man, I rather enjoyed his company and hospitality. The days were filled with cocktails, aloha deck parties, oysters off the boat, me stepping on a crab (this continues to be a BIG ordeal). I had an amazing few days and would gladly spend the rest of the life in a SUMMER Provincetown. From heading to Spiritus to watch all the boys pick up the other boys after the bars closed (at an early 1am) to going to one of the three straight bars in town where Daniel introduced me at “This is Crystal and she is a heterosexual” or “Crystal, this is so and so and he is straight” this in fact started a couple very interesting conversations.  One of them being with a very cute Justin Timberlake looking boy named Kyle, although I questioned his sexuality Daniel stated that indeed he is straight.  He asked the question of me ” how do you feel being straight in a town that is not” and I thought to myself, I rather enjoy it as I have always gravitated towards being different.

Thursday night was spent in the normal Thursday night way, here in Worcester it involves the Dive Bar or the Lucky Dog for me. Was a great night of music and one footed dancing to 80′s jams from the Flock.

Friday night I headed to Putnam to spend time with Robyn and Jen G. before she headed back to California for what could be a couple months or what could be forever, although I hope not as I was liking her being here. We had some wine and chatted all the while being eaten by bugs.  I was tired and so ready to be home around 11pm but a simple text from a my friend Joe sent me right back out to the Lucky Dog, the Friday night crowd is not my crowd but it was a good time either way.

Saturday evening my sister had a party at her new home, more of celebrating the great outdoor space they have. This get together which had people of all ages slowly became where I was the oldest and was suckered into playing Flip Cup. It was a fun time but I retired at a decent hour of 12:30am to head back home.

Sunday morning headed over to the Turtle Boy Statue at the Commons with some fellow Worcesterites to do some guerrilla landscaping and planting of the illegal tomato plant. This was a really cool thing to do, community involvement we weeded and mulched the area around what is the “Unofficial Entrance to Worcester” .

The rest of Sunday was a relaxing day headed out and about for a good part of the day, fretted over some unemployment details and then at the 5pm hour my friend Brad and I were stating how we both wanted to go to the beach, I so would have went early in the day. So my grand idea to pack up some stuff real quick and head to the beach came through. I quickly drove to meet him at his house and we went up to Salisbury Beach, we had a little over an hour before the beach was to close and it started to sprinkle. But waded into the cold water and sat on the beach and took in the sea air. I still am trying to understand why I don’t live closer to the ocean. I thought we were going to head home until Brad suggested we head to a show @ Great Scott this band call The Voluptuaries. They were a lot of fun, some live PA type music, with one of the guys making music using two WII-motes.  We did stop at Joshua Tree for a quick bit, so this evening in which I believed nothing was going to come of it ended up being pretty good, even walking around Brighton with two puncture holes in my foot.

Yesterday was a day with lunch with Beth, in which we decided to head to Providence as we were both craving East Side Pockets Falafel and we bummed around Thayer Street. I am happy Beth finally bought a laptop so now she is all set for when she has her surgery. I got home around 5pm from shopping with her and headed down to Connecticut as one of my oldest and dear friends was up visiting her family. Tasha who has been my friend for 26 years was up with her family from South Carolina, I was very happy I was able to spend a little time with her, it is always like no time at all has passed even though it has been almost 7 years since we have seen each other.

Today was a good day, I took the train into Boston for my interview at The Brigham( cross your fingers) and then followed by lunch with James @ this great little Asian Fusion place, he had to return to work and I had to hop on the train back to Worcester. I do hope I end up working in Boston as the train is my new favorite mode of transportation I would have been in a car just as long and paid much more in tolls and gas then it cost me to take the train. Plus I was able to read about 150 pages in my book today. I got home and text Kelly and she was heading to the Newton Sq Free Concert Series so I joined her, the cool breeze has come into Worcester this evening and helped with this endless amount of humidity and stickiness. We then went and ate at the Corner Grill, for some reason I have lived in Worcester for over 3 years and have never went here, why did I not explore. I had this pizza that had caramelized onions, roasted butternut squash, roasted pumpkin seeds and brown sugar (the real ones comes with sausage and cheese also) Amazing… A new personal favorite place to eat.

The last week has been joyous, aggravating as I dealt with a guy who just made NO sense to me but that is over, fun, painful due to big puncture holes from crabs claws going into the bottom of my foot, spontaneous and overall wonderful. I am extremely thankful for my friends I really have some amazing people in my life.

Seems like Summer brings me to really get back into music, you know not the same records I have been listening to my whole life but making sure I evolve with music for the rest of my life. Here are some of what I am listening to right now, not all “new” bands but lots of great new music by each.

First Aid Kit- The Big Black and Blue

Band of Horses-Infinite Arms

Devo- Something for Everybody

Gorillaz- Plastic Beach

Morcheeba- Blood like Lemonade

LCD Soundsystem- This is Happening

Sleigh Bells- Treats

Dum Dum Girls- I Will Be

New Pornographers- Together

The first day of Summer only a couple days away but by the weather the last month you would have never guessed. I looked at the weather forecast back on Monday and saw that Friday was suppose to be amazing. Well it stayed that way in the forecast. So My dear Jen and I headed down to RI and went to the beach. It was 83, perfectly sunny, light June Breeze, not humid. More or less the most perfect of beach days.  We headed to Misquamicut beach spent some time toasting ourselves and then enjoying some Del’s and French Fries.

We got to the beach around 1oam and by 11 the beach was full. It was the first perfect Friday in sometime where the temp and sunshine factor made for a day where MANY people most likely called in “sick”.

I am a little red, but with some aloe no problem will be a nice tan by tomorrow.  Just in time for my Monday-Wednesday P-Town trip with my friend Jen, a good friend of hers has a place directly on the beach in Provincetown . To the Cape I go on Monday- YAY.  This being unemployed thing is not to shabby for the time being, I have my 3rd round of interviews for my dream job in another week and half and then my interview at another EMR Vendor the week of the 6th. Life is okay…

I guess I should be happy I have plenty of good friends and my life minus the need for a steady employment at this moment is pretty good. Seriously I have plans everyday but still something is missing.  I have been known as of late to utter the word “LONELY”. Something I have never been in my life but it seems I just really want someone who is really into me as I am them. I know of a couple guys who do like me but I can not force myself to like someone. I wish I could, but when it comes down to it you like what you like.  I have meet some great guys but it seems the ones I meet fall into friend zone and even if I am interested in more I am a bit too scared to breach the topic or to try to make a move or say something to that person know I am interested.  I have turned down dates and I have more or less convinced guys that they do not want to go out with me.  What type of sick and twisted person who wants to be with someone does this.  I have given up on dating sites and really just focus on meeting people in real life, people who will blend with my life as I will with theirs. This method has not been working all that well either.

So I just book myself solid, cancel out any of the guys who I keep around for fun only, and try to forget that I miss having someone to kiss or be goofy with and be the GOOD friend that I am. Something is lacking, something big. This is the longest I have been single in my life and it just makes me realize that I miss having that one person who just really gives a shit.  I am not an easy person for a guy to decide to date, I am vegan which most men just shake their heads at, it is not a big deal to me but I believe that most do the quick flash over a 5-10-lifetime relationship and think that they couldn’t deal with my restrictive eating that long. Since I am between jobs at this point I also don’t feel like I am in the place to jump into anything with someone, what a deal I am- unemployed…

I just guess I just keep hoping that something will work out at some point.

Slacking is the word for my blogging behavior as of late. But again living my life to the point I have had little time to write about it.

I am once again looking for work, well I never did stop looking as going back to the dose was just temp until I found the ideal position, but I learned that no matter how hard you work you will never please everyone and sometimes someone just doesn’t like you because they just decided not to like you. I am very outgoing and sometimes people just are not comfortable around someone who is comfortable being ones self .

So I enjoyed hikes and the outdoors last week while taking time to look for jobs. I had an amazing interview on Friday which would be my dream job, big huge project in the world of EMR and would challenge me. So I am keeping my fingers crossed that is comes through. I have plenty of good contacts for other positions in Boston area hospitals, I have decided I have to work in Boston to make the money that I need to make, commute and all.

Had another amazing weekend, seems to be a string of these. Although there was a point I should have stop partaking in cocktails/beer on Saturday night but other than the lingering headache all day yesterday it was all good.  Friday night I headed to Putnam to have drinks with Jen we ordered food, had a few drinks and chatted. Both of us being gone from Putnam for such a long time it seems weird when you are sitting in the bar and see a dozen people you went to high school with. Saturday I had plans with Sarah to head to Providence, she is newly single and needed a day out of Worcester and some time to have girl chatting. We made a handful of stops, sat outside at the Hot Club on the water even with gloomy skies.

The day in Providence lead to a LATE night in Worcester to follow. It is something we are both too old to do again. My day ended at the Kenmore for breakfast at 1:30 am. Good Times… Great People…..

Yesterday after some recovery time I got myself up and about. Headed to Dr. Gonzos for the Friki Tiki Cook-off. Stu’s band the Roadkill Orchestra played while everyone socialized, cooked, ate and drank. Jared had brewed a beer with the Wazoo Juice so it was a Wazoo IPA, I liked the spice to it. As always it was a good time, seems each month the cook-offs bring more people and more good times.

Now it is Monday and back to the grind of networking and applying for jobs…. Until next time..

I have had a pretty amazing last couple weeks. New people, old friends, old and new coming together, bike rides, hikes, dog parks and happiness.

This past weekend started off with a shin dig at my friend Jess’s, she is the Whiskey Witch of Worcester and the most amazing of hostesses. To the point she made a soy chorizo w/apples so there was food that I could eat. That was a late night of debauchery and good times.

Saturday I headed to a new friend Brian who I seem to like to be around as I have gotten together with him the last 4 days and I am not tired of him yet….. I meet him at his home we went for a walk around the lake with his lovely and lovable pup Keely, all I want is a damn dog so for the time being I can live through him. We had motives to also go for a bike ride but the heat from the few mile hike wore us both out, so the afternoon was filled with a tea stop at LaLa Java, lunch on the patio at Giuseppe’s and strawberries and slush  from Tougas Farm in Northboro.

Saturday evening I had plans with Robyn and Jen, we headed to dinner at Brew City, then off to the movies to see Letters to Juliet and ended the evening at the Dive listening to Dub Apocalypse, where we meet up with some of my friends and Brian also was able to join us.  Saturday was a huge success in the having fun arena.

Sunday I was so damn tired, I had lunch and shopping plans with Beth so we went over to EVO for lunch and then a bit of shopping in the early part of the day.  Sunday evening I was so tired but agreed to beer @ Peppercorns (finally tried the Sweet Tat’s Breakfast Stout, damn amazing) and then the off to see Robin Hood (this movie needed to be 40 minutes shorter and it would have been okay) followed by fries and beer at The Perfect Game. I was beat and over tired as it was a very busy weekend, but fun non the less.

The only thing that came of this weekend was that I am not working anymore for the pharmaceutical company, I should have never went back, it was a mistake on my part. There is something that tells you deep inside you that if you have to walk on eggshells around the big boss you should just stay clear.

But this allowed for me to have Monday free, so I went with Brian to walk his awesome dog at the dog park at Tufts Veterinary Hospital, which with was one of the most perfect weather mornings.  I got home and went to see Boyband with Gabe, the local made movie that is all things Worcester but in 1982. Then went and chatted and had a beer with Neil, I needed to vent a bit more in one day. Today I went and returned my badge and key to work,  meet up with Brian and hit up Newbury Comics and Barnes and Snowballs. Came home and chilled this evening, was in a need of a relaxing do nothing evening, I have not stopped in weeks.

So back to hitting the pavement, networking and Friday I have a 2nd interview for my dream job of 2010, this is the job that allows me to cross off the new career section of my 2010 goals. Off to bed as I have a hike tomorrow with Jen and then plans with Robin in the evening.  I love my life, job or no job I am a happy gal.